Sunday Satire: Rorting as a Profession

I was reading the comments on Jennifer Wilson’s latest (and excellent) post – I’m flying myself to the footy & I’m wearing Hugo Boss suck it up you sexist socialist serfs – when I came across a magnificent gem from someone named Frank.

Definitely worth a star turn in its own right . . . I hope Guest Author Frank will forgive me for having appropriated his witty words.

Fairfax; Louise Kennerley

I actually don’t mind politicians that rort the system as it proves to my mind that they have initiative and the necessary entrepreneurial skill to dream big and kick a few goals for Australia whilst enriching their own pockets! Nation building is thirsty work so who cares if a few bob goes missing as long as they are kicking goals and rebuilding the country Donald Trump style?! It all goes around anyway. Resist the urge to be jealous of other’s success. Learn from them. I did it with my tradesmen when I paid them in brown paper bags to escape the tax man. None of them ever complained. Theft is the natural order for Australians.

The problem is one of management. Greens should stick to their main theme of being frugal managers and stewards of the planet and general useless pricks who should just ride bicycles around to their local communist branch or go ride hot air-balloons into a windmill or brick wall or gallop on the backs of pink unicorns or bugger-up fairies in search of someone to annoy.

Labor are a tad more realistic and should organise a suitable union to roster the rorting on a democratic basis, equally and fairly with a flotilla of social justice warriors, so all can rip off public funds equally and fairly, including a suitable kickback to their head union delegate – providing they can demonstrate some ability to run the country without sending it broke! This is really a quandary or a major hurdle which is richly disputed that they can do just that as their skill in organizing roots in brothels is always questioned by their Liberal overlords so the jury is till out that they can form or perform any useful function as a credible government without stabbings or murdering one another on a regular basis.

Which leaves it to the Liberals to do all the rorting for Australia. Liberals are like silky otters when it comes to performing payment for services rendered. They can navigate rapids and perilous waters on the Gold Coast whilst negotiating the purchase of a block of units or flat for themselves whilst pretending they are off on official affairs of state. Liberals like beavers are the natural builders of Australia’s economy so should be listened to when they have their hand in your back pocket, so in fairness wouldn’t it be best to put your trust in professional rorters rather than amateur rorters? You wouldn’t let a dodgy plumber fix your bathroom, would you?

Grays

Advertisements

401 thoughts on “Sunday Satire: Rorting as a Profession

  1. puffy.

    This explains the Trump/Michelle Obama thing. Trump pretty much pushes Michelle out of the way, after leaving his wife to make her own way from the car. A pig of a man.

  2. Cory? Pauline? Was that you?

    Out of the blue: ‘Trump’ skywriting appears above Sydney protest

    Rob Vance from Skywriting Australia said his company did the skywriting at a total cost of $4,000 to the customers, who wanted the messages to coincide with the Women’s March.

    He said the customers were a group of Australian Trump supporters, but they wanted to remain anonymous
    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/jan/21/out-of-the-blue-trump-skywriting-appears-above-sydney-protest

    Skywriting or not, today’s Women’s March in Sydney was a blazing success.
    Sydney Women’s March: big turnout but ‘it’s not all about Donald Trump’
    Protests should be viewed as anti-hatred, anti-bigotry and anti-misogyny, says journalist Tracey Spicer, emcee of the event.
    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/jan/21/donald-trump-sydney-womens-march-protest-thousand-turn-out

  3. Good morning Dawn Patrollers.

    And now it’s five. Any comment Sen. Leyonhjelm?
    http://www.smh.com.au/victoria/baby-becomes-fifth-person-to-die-from-bourke-street-carnage-20170121-gtw5iy.html
    Australia’s conservative government fiddles on climate policy while the country burns writes Lenore Taylor. We should be worried.
    https://www.theguardian.com/environment/commentisfree/2017/jan/20/australias-conservative-government-fiddles-on-climate-policy-while-the-country-burns
    Will there be another Medicare rise in the next Budget? At least it’s a progressive tax -er, levy.
    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/medicare-levy-increase-on-the-table-as-turnbull-budget-speculation-begins-20170121-gtw0an.html
    Donald Trump’s ascendancy to the White House has been met with a tidal wave of peaceful protest across the country, with hundreds of thousands flooding Washington DC and huge crowds in other cities across the United States and the world expressing anger, disgust and defiance at the new American president and demanding equal rights for all.
    http://www.smh.com.au/world/thousands-descend-on-washington-for-antitrump-womens-march-20170121-gtw5xd.html
    Even Trump’s inauguration CAKE was plagiarised!
    http://www.smh.com.au/world/was-trumps-inauguration-cake-a-ripoff-of-obamas-2012-cake-20170121-gtw5yx.html
    He’s even pinched a photo of Obama’s inauguration for his own Twitter background.
    http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/01/20/donald_trump_s_new_twitter_background_is_a_photo_from_the_inauguration_of.html
    Paul McGeough on Trump’s ominous inauguration speech.
    http://www.theage.com.au/world/donald-trump-is-sworn-in-vows-to-end-american-carnage-20170121-gtw1bz.html
    Owen Jones opines that the American left will be reborn under Trump.
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jan/21/he-american-left-will-be-reborn-under-president-trump
    A nice satirical piece here on the inauguration balls.
    http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/donald-trump-inauguration-cash-bars-no-stars-and-an-irish-hoedown-at-official-inauguration-balls-20170121-gtw0lm.html
    A biting open letter to Trump.
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jan/21/letter-to-donald-trump-president-armando-iannucci

  4. Section 2 . . .

    Across the country, the numbers for the Women’s March have turned out to be not just high, but higher than anyone would have predicted. Cities that had expected two thousand got ten. Areas that had planned on ten thousand got a hundred.
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/1/21/1623203/-Women-s-March-On-Washington-and-everywhere-else-much-MUCH-larger-than-expected
    With the inauguration of the Trump presidency, the battlelines have been drawn in the contest between falsehoods and truth. Help is on its way as Alan Austin plucks a few useful tactics from his anti-humbug arsenal.
    https://independentaustralia.net/politics/politics-display/battlelines-are-now-drawn-in-the-war-against-transparency-and-truth-1,9948
    Trump’s first action of repealing Obmacare is backfiring on Republican representatives.
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/1/21/1622923/-Republicans-chased-into-hiding-by-constituents-angry-over-Obamacare-repeal
    Amy Remeikis looks at the phenomenon that is James Ashby.
    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/one-nations-james-ashby-places-himself-in-the-background-behind-pauline-hanson-20170119-gtui9s.html
    It looks like there will be a gathering of mental giants in Freo on Australia Day.
    http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/reclaim-australia-planning-freo-australia-day-rally-20170121-gtw1a2.html
    Australia has sunk to many new lows in recent years. Professor Stuart Rees outlines some ideas for a kinder, fair go nation.
    https://newmatilda.com/2017/01/19/dismay-over-democracy-alternative-policies-for-2017/
    Will these entitlement excesses end up biting Barnaby?
    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/jan/21/barnaby-joyce-spent-18000-on-2013-travel-to-new-england-when-trying-to-win-seat
    I hope this government initiative works well. Then let’s install it on LAX!
    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/world-first-government-moves-to-radically-overhaul-australias-international-airports-20170116-gtss5w.html
    There is no shortage of wish lists for the incoming Gladys Berejiklian.
    http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/welfare-business-and-environment-groups-give-wishlists-to-gladys-berejiklian-20170121-gtvz7e.html

  5. Section 3 . . . with Cartoon Corner

    Annabel Crabbe looks at what’s in store under Trump for left-leaning celebrities.
    http://www.smh.com.au/comment/how-donald-trump-is-forcing-hollywood-to-change-those-starspangled-stripes-20170120-gtviyo.html

    Matt Golding in the Customs hall.

    And Golding at the inauguration.

    Mark David has Trump and the flyover at his inauguration.

    Andrew Dyson takes us to the Davos meeting.

    More from Matt Golding.

    Macca with Trump’s first day in the Oval Office.
    http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/cd03859f51ef04c145a08b40f820d911?width=1024

Comments are closed.