Sunday Satire: Rorting as a Profession

I was reading the comments on Jennifer Wilson’s latest (and excellent) post – I’m flying myself to the footy & I’m wearing Hugo Boss suck it up you sexist socialist serfs – when I came across a magnificent gem from someone named Frank.

Definitely worth a star turn in its own right . . . I hope Guest Author Frank will forgive me for having appropriated his witty words.

Fairfax; Louise Kennerley

I actually don’t mind politicians that rort the system as it proves to my mind that they have initiative and the necessary entrepreneurial skill to dream big and kick a few goals for Australia whilst enriching their own pockets! Nation building is thirsty work so who cares if a few bob goes missing as long as they are kicking goals and rebuilding the country Donald Trump style?! It all goes around anyway. Resist the urge to be jealous of other’s success. Learn from them. I did it with my tradesmen when I paid them in brown paper bags to escape the tax man. None of them ever complained. Theft is the natural order for Australians.

The problem is one of management. Greens should stick to their main theme of being frugal managers and stewards of the planet and general useless pricks who should just ride bicycles around to their local communist branch or go ride hot air-balloons into a windmill or brick wall or gallop on the backs of pink unicorns or bugger-up fairies in search of someone to annoy.

Labor are a tad more realistic and should organise a suitable union to roster the rorting on a democratic basis, equally and fairly with a flotilla of social justice warriors, so all can rip off public funds equally and fairly, including a suitable kickback to their head union delegate – providing they can demonstrate some ability to run the country without sending it broke! This is really a quandary or a major hurdle which is richly disputed that they can do just that as their skill in organizing roots in brothels is always questioned by their Liberal overlords so the jury is till out that they can form or perform any useful function as a credible government without stabbings or murdering one another on a regular basis.

Which leaves it to the Liberals to do all the rorting for Australia. Liberals are like silky otters when it comes to performing payment for services rendered. They can navigate rapids and perilous waters on the Gold Coast whilst negotiating the purchase of a block of units or flat for themselves whilst pretending they are off on official affairs of state. Liberals like beavers are the natural builders of Australia’s economy so should be listened to when they have their hand in your back pocket, so in fairness wouldn’t it be best to put your trust in professional rorters rather than amateur rorters? You wouldn’t let a dodgy plumber fix your bathroom, would you?


401 thoughts on “Sunday Satire: Rorting as a Profession

  1. The Coolum Surf Club has been opened as a place of shelter for evacuated residents.

    So the big question is a schooner or a scotch and coke.

  2. This is a very interesting analysis of trump – if you are interested, read the whole article:

    Michael D’Antonio: I also think that he’s the same old Trump and emphasizing this combative quality and wanting to fight with just about everybody. I’ve been asked lately about why he seems to have affection for a guy like Putin. And the thing that I’m afraid of most, based on what I’m seeing, is that he seems to want to be the same style of leader, where he intimidates people. He tries to shame them. The most shocking thing I think he did was note all of his enemies in his New Year’s message. The idea of a president actually having even the thought of all of these enemies in his head as he’s welcoming the new year and greeting the country is almost crazy to me.

    Kruse: Michael, in your book, and other places, too, he has talked about how much he enjoys fighting. And he certainly fought a lot of people throughout the campaign, and he hasn’t stopped fighting. From Meryl Streep to the intelligence community, he’s still picking fights. Do you think he is going to pick fights with leaders of other countries? In other words, is there any indication that he would be able to separate the interests of the country now from his own personal pique?

    Blair: Zero.

    O’Brien: Absolutely not. There will be no divide there. The whole thing has been a vanity show from the second he ran to the Republican Convention. I think we can expect to see the same on Inauguration Day. He’s been unable to find a clean division between his own emotional needs and his own insecurities and simply being a healthy, strategically committed leader who wants to parse through good policy options and a wide series of public statements about the direction in which he’ll take the country.

    Blair: There’s a fusion, I think, of his childhood, an emphasis on being combative, being killers—as his dad famously instructed his boys to be—but also, I think, his own competitive nature, and then his grasp in early adulthood that being a bully and really putting it to other people and not backing down often works. He also had his church background telling him that being a success was the most important thing and that got fused with the sort of ‘You want a crowd to show up, start a fight,’ P.T. Barnum-type thing early on in his career. And then Roy Cohn as a mentor, a guy who stood for cold-eye calculus about how bullying people works. And you put all of those pieces together, that he’s been doing this his whole life, and I don’t see a single reason for him to back down. He’s going to go full blast ahead with that.


  4. Bothered to look up the words of Deutschlandlied from whence the ‘Deutschland über alles’ came from. Seems it was more about “brotherly love” and………………………… women and song 🙂 Verse 2

    . German women, German fidelity,
    German wine and German song,
    Shall retain, throughout the world,
    Their old respected fame,
    To inspire us to noble deeds
    For the length of our lives.
    German women, German fidelity,
    German wine and German song.

  5. Parents have realised just how much they depended on Labor’s Schoolkids Bonus now it isn’t there any more, and they are not happy. Another reason to hate the Fizza government.

    Labor supported the legislation that removed this payment so it’s very hypocritical of Labor MPs to start tweeting their ‘concern’ now. I don’t think Labor has any intention of restoring this payment when they return to government, but doing that could be a real vote winner.

    Schoolkids Bonus axed: Struggling parents battle to find cash to pay for uniforms, fees

    Aussie Mum Outraged At Back-To-School Costs As Schoolkids Bonus Ends
    Her $578 school supplies bill has gone viral.

    • Aussie Mum Outraged At Back-To-School Costs As Schoolkids Bonus Ends
      Her $578 school supplies bill has gone viral.

      I’m sorry; “Cindy Bogan”?!

  6. Pauline seems to be losing control of her mind and her party.

    Pauline Hanson meeting descends into farce as she confuses candidates, blames Bourke Street incident on terrorists

    And –

  7. Just out of curiosity, would anyone here sign up for Facebook just so that they could follow a discussion group about their local area if that were the only way one could access that conversation?

    I had a Facebook account when it first started as part of my job (gads, nearly 15 years ago) but managed to extract and delete that account when I left the job as I didn’t like the T&C then and like them even less now. But there is a geographically local issue that I have found is ONLY being talked about on that platform, which I find very frustrating and annoying as I try to work out if I need to dip my toes back into the Facebook morass again.

    • sign up with fake name and a internet based email address, not connected to your main account. do not post personal details and mark everything personal only and you are good to go.

  8. Here’s something I’ve found
    The Daily Kos website has been calculating the U.S. presidential results by congressional district so far they’ve done all states except North Carolina.

    The one thing that’s interested me is the number of democrats in Trump districts and republicans in clinton districts. For those who are also interested here’s a list of them

    Republicans in Clinton districts
    John Katko, New York’s 24th (Upstate New York)
    Leonard Lance, New Jersey’s 7th (Central New Jersey) *
    Barbara Comstock, Virginia’s 10th (Northern Virginia)*
    Carlos Curbelo, Florida’s 26th (Miami Suburbs)
    Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Florida’s 27th (Miami Suburbs)
    Ryan Costello, Pennsylvania’s 6th (Philadelphia Suburbs)*
    Pat Meehan, Pennsylvania’s 7th (Philadelphia Suburbs)*
    Peter Roskam, Illinois’s 6th (Chicago Suburbs)*
    Erik Paulsen, Minnesota’s 3rd (Minneapolis Suburbs)
    John Culberson, Texas’s 7th (Houston Suburbs)*
    Will Hurd, Texas’s 23rd (Southern Texas)*
    Pete Sessions, Texas’s 32nd (Dallas Suburbs)*
    Kevin Yoder, Kansas’s 3rd (Kansas City)*
    Mike Coffman, Colorado’s 6th (Denver Suburbs)
    Martha McSally, Arizona’s 2nd (Tucson and SE Arizona)*
    David Reichert, Washington’s 8th (Seattle Suburbs)
    Jeff Denham, California’s 10th (Central California)
    David Valadao, California’s 21th (Central California)
    Steve Knight, California’s 25th (Northern Los Angeles County)*
    Ed Royce, California’s 39th (South Eastern LA suburbs)*
    Mimi Walters, California’s 45th (Southern California)*
    Dana Rohrabacher, California’s 48th (Southern California)*
    Darrel Issa, California’s 49th (Southern California)*
    *=District carried by Romney in 2012

    Democrats in Trump Districts
    Carol Shea-Porter, New Hampshire’s 1st (South Eastern New Hampshire)+
    Sean Maloney, New York’s 18th (Upstate New York)+
    Josh Gottheimer, New Jersey’s 5th (Northern New Jersey)
    Matt Cartwright, Pennsylvania’s 17th (Central and North-Eastern Pennsylvania)+
    Cheri Bustos, Illinois’s 17th (North Western Illinois)+
    Ron Kind, Wisconsin’s 3rd (South Western Wisconsin)+
    Tim Walz, Minnesota’s 1st (Southern Minnesota)+
    Collin Peterson, Minnesota’s 7th (Western Minnesota)
    Rick Nolan, Minnesota’s 8th (North Eastern Minnesota)+
    David Loebsack, Iowa’s 2nd (South-Eastern Iowa)+
    Tom O’Halleran, Arizona’s 1st (North Eastern Arizona)
    Jacky Rosen, Nevada’s 3rd (Las Vegas Suburbs)+
    += District Carried by Obama in 2012

  9. Good morning Dawn Patrollers as we wake up to a new, uncertain world. (Excuse me while I vomit as I hear a treacle-thick prayer is offered to the God-appointed President!)

    Don’t tell me the police are going to cop the blame for the carnage in Melbourne!
    Leyonhjelm rightly got slammed over his disgusting tweet.
    The perpetrator had a troubled past.
    Incoming Premier Gladys B has something going for her. Alan Jones doesn’t like her.
    Adam Gartrell tells Turnbull to tell us his agenda – if he has one.–if-he-has-one-20170119-gtuhxp.html
    After a year when voters worldwide thumbed their noses at mainstream politics and the elite, a landmark annual survey has found trust in major institutions is eroding at a rapid rate. And the effect is particularly pronounced here in Australia.
    Peter FitzSimons calls BS on Trump’s explanation of that “locker room comment” that he so famously made.
    Laurie Oakes says Turnbull needs to hit the reset button and a big speech to the NPC would be a good opportunity. Google.
    And Peter van Onselen writes that it’s hard to know why anyone would want to support the federal Coalition government right now. Unless you have a friend or relative in the parliamentary ranks of Malcolm Turnbull’s team, or you have a visceral hatred of Bill Shorten and the Labor Party, I can’t real¬ly see why voting for this government would be attractive. Google.
    Paul McGeough on what we can look forward to in the next four years with Trump as America emerges from three months of pre-traumatic stress disorder.

  10. Section 2 . . .

    How America went From ‘Yes we can’ to ‘Because I can’.
    Shocking poll numbers tell of a uniquely difficult path for the new commander-in-chief. And that’s before the inevitable scandals start. Richard Wolffe tells us that the Trump honeymoon is already over.
    The SMH hopes like hell that when Trump meets reality he will be different.
    A big battle is looming in the US between Trump and the great organs of the American press like The New York Times and The Washington Post. Martin Flanagan knows who he’s barracking for.
    An open letter to Hillary Clinton telling her to be a sore loser.
    The hacker and activist collective Anonymous, which wasn’t a heavy-hitter during the presidential campaign, has now warned Donald Trump that he is going to “regret” the next four years.
    Here’s a breakdown of where Gonski money has gone in NSW.
    Soon we will have NBN, Medicare and NDIS existing in name only.
    By substituting manual checking of data for a computerised algorithm in a typical Coalition cost-cutting exercise, Centrelink now faces thousands of man hours dealing with the debacle including a frenzy of class action suits. John Haly reports.,9941
    Michael West says that as the storm over social welfare rumbles on with Centrelink and its breathtaking debt recovery bungle, it is worth considering Australia’s corporate welfare elite.

  11. Section 3 . . .

    Now The Greens have a rump of their own.
    The aged care time bomb for families. Google.
    An interesting article from Wendy Squires on the burqa and other headdresses .
    Jess Irvine on the march of women into the workforce.
    Jack Waterford doesn’t like what Australia day has been turned into. This is quite a spray.
    And Irfan Yusuf says diversity should be seen as an asset rather than an excuse to complain.
    Michael Gordon writes that Australia has retreated into a ‘delusionary mental bubble of self-interest’
    Greg Hunt will be welcomed to Health with a full in tray according to the AFR. Google.
    Slimebag priest Gerald Ridsdale faces packed courtroom on fresh child-sex charges
    Simon Cowan tells us why Turnbull’s plan on parliamentary entitlements won’t work.

  12. Section 4 . . . with Cartoon Corner

    Crispin Hull says we’ve succeeded in taking on Big Tobacco so let’s go after Big Sugar.

    Alan Moir at the inauguration.

    Mark David really comes up with some good stuff!

    David Rowe has a couple of goodies on Trump’s inauguration.

    Matt Golding and Turnbull’s ministerial changes.

    Macca at the White House handover.
    Some nice artwork from Bill Leak.

  13. What is Jack Waterford talking about?

    “By the end of the Australia Day long weekend, Donald Trump will have been in power for 10 days.”

    Australia hasn’t had an ‘Australia Day long weekend’ for over twenty years. Waterford stars off by telling us Australia Day is on Thursday and then loses the plot.

    Quality journalism?

  14. SNAFU

    Barnaby Joyce spent more than $18,000 of taxpayer funds travelling to Armidale and Tamworth when he was a Queensland senator preparing to jump to the lower house seat of New England, where the two New South Wales cities are located.

    In March 2013 Joyce also used a VIP airforce jet for himself and four staff to fly from Tamworth to Canberra, returning from a televised debate against his New England opponent, the independent MP Tony Windsor.

    The revelations are contained in Joyce’s 2013 expense declarations to the Department of Finance and a Department of Defence document produced under freedom of information laws, seen by Guardian Australia.

  15. The law firm Slater and Gordon says it is investigating whether Centrelink’s controversial debt recovery system is in breach of the law. But the firm has stopped short of committing to legal action, saying it is only in preliminary stages.

    “Slater and Gordon is currently reviewing Centrelink’s conduct for the purpose of confirming whether it has engaged in any contraventions of applicable laws,” Slater and Gordon’s practice group leader, Tim Finney told Guardian Australia. “This investigation is still in its formative stages and it is too early to say what form any possible legal action against Centrelink would take.”

  16. If Turnbull wants to hit the reset button—face up to the fact the MTM is horrendous mess and wilful waste of tens of billions of dollars and restart rolling out FTTH again! Face up to the fact education is a mess and commit to Gonski, better teacher training etc. Those two things will go far to pulling us out of the mire he and abbott have led us into! Getting rid of 457 visas would help the economy heaps. Stop chasing and bullying the poor and defenceless and reform super, NG/CGT, FBT, health insurance rebate etc etc etc.

    He won’t do any of that so why the hell even talk of a reset, of momentum?

  17. I saw that too, but the rest of the column makes up for it. Waterford is pissed off… and lets us know it.

  18. I thought Turnbull was going to ‘reset’ over the Christmas holidays. You know, after his reset after nearly losing the election, and his reset when he called that DD, and his reset a year ago during his holidays, and his reset when he became PM. I might have missed a few resets, it’s hard to keep up when there have been so many of them.

    Now Oakes wants another reset? Seriously? Expecting Fizza to ‘reset’ is pointless.

    Turnbull’s not a PC. You can’t reset him and restore him to Windows 10 default. I suppose if you could then that default setting would be the mythical ‘real Malcolm’ the journalists keep telling us about. It’s like a cargo cult – any day now The Real Malcolm will appear and make everything better, once he has reset himself, that is. The mythical Real Malcolm is never going to show up, he’s never going to reset because what we have IS The Real Malcolm and he’s a dud.

    If he was a car you’d stick a huge ‘This is a LEMON” sign on him and send him back to the dealer

    Find something else to write about Mr Oakes. This ‘reset’ nonsense is beyond boring.

    • They’re so lenient with Libs leaders. It was the same with Abbott. Julia Gillard was never offered a reset button. Not that she ever needed one. I’ve already heard same with Trump. Now that he is Pres. he’ll be a different man, meaning more reasonable. Such rubbish! They look ahead when the present is unbearable.

  19. It’s like a cargo cult – any day now The Real Malcolm will appear and make everything better, once he has reset himself, that is.

    I like that: “cargo cult”.

    A once-seen chimera, a whiff of prosperity and hope, and you have useless scribblers like Oakes still standing on top of a mountain of their own making, with primitive talismans made to look like their fading image of Turnbull The Magnificent flapping uselessly in the breeze. Every morning at dawn their naive faces are upturned towards the east, hoping every day that the cargo will come back to make the village prosperous again.

    And when it doesn’t arrive, they pack up their meager trinkets, swing their woven dilly bags over their shoulders, and go back to their dongas to reassure themselves, “Maybe tomorrow.”

    Meanwhile, a perfectly viable alternative – policy-rich, keen, talented, popular and energetic – waits in the wings with real solutions, denied, even ignored, their presence and support seen as a statistical blip in the face of make-believe riches.

  20. The ever-helpful Kevin Rudd tells us to give Trump time to calm down and ‘grow into the job”. I’m surprised he didn’t say ‘reset’ too, it seems to be the word of the day.

    ‘Give him a go’: Kevin Rudd’s advice for Donald Trump and Malcolm Turnbull

    Now where have we heard that before? How many times were we told Abbott would ‘grow into the job’?

    He never did.

    Just two months ago Abbott told us he thought Turnbull was ‘growing into the job’.

    Julia Gillard was never given a chance,to grow into her job. She was expected to be perfect from Day 1.

  21. How many times were we told Abbott would ‘grow into the job’?

    I always thought Abbott was a bunyip Trump.

    The same bullying ways, the same sheathed violence, the same bullshit.

    Wise observers knew that leopards don’t change their spots. Abbott didn’t change his,and Trump won’t either.

    For that matter, neither will Turnbull. From his first whingeing “victory” speech when he threatened to sool the AFP onto Labor over Mediscare, to his phoney emotions yesterday about the Bourke St Mall tragedy, Malcolm just doesn’t “get” how to connect with ordinary people if they don’t own a harbourside mansion.

  22. I came to the conclusion that American turkeys were as dumb as the Aussie turkeys who voted for Abbott/Turnbull. I don’t think there is a difference in their IQs.

  23. I’m staying away from all the stuff being written about Trump because quite honestly I don’t have much interest. If I’d been able to vote I might care more. i’d rather spend my time looking at what is going on here.

    However – I really liked these, from Broelman.

  24. Hedy Lamarr was a beauty. Not many people would deny it. She wasn’t just a pretty face – though a pretty face is not a given. She was a bit of a techhead:

    At the beginning of World War II, Lamarr and composer George Antheil developed a radio guidance system for Allied torpedoes, which used spread spectrum and frequency hopping technology to defeat the threat of jamming by the Axis powers.[4] Although the US Navy did not adopt the technology until the 1960s, the principles of their work are now incorporated into modern Wi-Fi, CDMA, and Bluetooth technology,[5][6][7] and this work led to their induction into the National Inventors Hall of Fame in 2014.[4][8]

  25. gigilene

    An upcoming movie on some more women who contributed to the space race. Read an anecdote from the daughter of one of the guys in charge. She said when she was young their were so many black mathematician’s working there she thought the job “what black folks did”. The woman had later gone on to a distinguished career there herself.

    When computers were human: the black women behind NASA’s success

    Before computers existed as we know them, data was processed by women, often black women. But they were much more than mere calculators. Indeed, the achievements of Katherine Johnson and many others were integral to NASA’s success. The film Hidden Figures, about their part in the race for space, is currently on release in the US and will be out in the UK on 17 February. Here are a few of their stories

    …………….. To process the deluge of data from wind tunnels and other experiments, Langley needed number crunchers. It found them in “human computers”. These mathematicians were all women and, thanks to a recent executive order banning racial discrimination in defence hiring, many – like Vaughan – were black..

  26. Silly people, getting all fired up by a speech.

    Words are one thing. Deeds are another. Trump is not going to morph into the Messiah. Trump is and always will be Trump.

    Peggy Noonan:

    “The speech will electrify President Trump’s followers. They will feel satisfaction that they understood him and knew what they were backing. And it will deepen the Washington establishment’s unease. Republican leaders had been hoping the address would ameliorate their anxieties about the continued primacy of their traditional policy preferences. Forget that. This was a declaration that the president is going his own way and they’d best follow.

    Throughout the speech, and much of the day, Mr. Trump looked stern. At first I thought it was the face he puts on when he’s nervous. I don’t think so now.

    Anyway, it was a remarkable speech, like none before it, and it marked, I think, yet another break point in the two-party reality that has dominated our politics for many decades.

    And so, now, it begins. And it simply has to be repeated: We have never had a political moment like this in our lives. We have never had a president like this, such a norm-breaker, in all the ways we know. We are in uncharted seas.”

  27. Nothing definite but it is looking more like an As-Yet-Unconfirmed Embarrassment Moment, which may evolve into a Now-Hearing-From-Multiple-Sources Embarrassment Moment.

  28. I don’t think this has been posted yet, sorry if it has.

    Mark Hamill reading Trump’s tweets and other words in his Joker voice – now it all makes much more sense.

    This is the explanation.

    More –

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