APOLOGIES TO GOOGLE but….

I found this online and just had to share!

Ordering a Pizza in 2023

CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? 

GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.

GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How do you know that?

GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at your Pharmacy, 4 months ago.

CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!

CALLER: WHAT THE … !

GOOGLE:I’m sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…

Welcome to the future 😁
ENJOY…

Copied/pasted, unknown author

Add your own jokes, please, we all need a laugh.

Celebrations…

Xmas Greetings

Australia is such diverse multicultural society that a guide to giving this traditional greeting in a few different languages seems warranted. This diversity in our population  brings a variety of holy days, celebrations and traditions as well as modern variations, for us to enjoy.

Please share other greetings, languages, practises, traditions, anecdotes, stories or memories etc as you like, in the Comments.

From all at The Pub we wish you a Merry Christmas or equivalent and a Happy New Year.

Thank you, all our The Pub readers, contributors, commenters and lurkers. Pull up a seat at the bar, get your favourite beverage and toast all your wonderful efforts, and results in 2022. You are never alone in The Pub!

Xmas Game

Do you want a game for Christmas guests?  Go to this site to print off these, free for personal use. 

( https://christmascountdown.uk/merry-christmas-language-game/ )

This website has the most comprehensive list of translations.

https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/languages

TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

The KYIV Shchedryk  Children′s Choir singing  ′The Carol of the Bells’ in Carnegie Hall to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of its first performance there

It was written by Ukrainian musician Mykola Leontov. The children′s bravery, by singing in Carnehie Hall as their country is beset by invasion, is awe-inspiring and humbling. No doubt some of them have experienced loss of loved ones, homes and schools, while practising in the dark as Russian missiles hit their cities and villages. Or their families are in danger back in Ukraine; their parents, siblings, in a war zone.

If anyone deserves love and mercy this Christmas it is the children of Ukraine. 💟

May it be so.

⚡️The famous Ukrainian carol 'Shchedryk,' also known as 'Carol of the Bells,' was performed at Carnegie Hall in New York City on Dec. 4.

The carol had its first performance at Carnegie hall 100 years ago, in 1922.

The concert included the Shchedryk Children’s Choir from Kyiv. pic.twitter.com/N0i3bwXOvQ

— The Kyiv Independent (@KyivIndependent) December 5, 2022

Princess Lily White with a Xmas Rose. (Camp David Rose) Lily is a Tenterfield Terrier < 1 year old.

AND…Grand Dragonette’s hand-made Christmas decorations, do you notice the Rainbiw Serpent and the grumpy koala? 😁

A Xmas house display in Adelaide with lovely lights at night and plenty of kids getting their photos taken on the huge sleigh.