For a laugh…

APOLOGIES TO GOOGLE but….

I found this online and just had to share!

Ordering a Pizza in 2023


CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? 


GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.


CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.


GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.


CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.


GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?


CALLER: My usual? You know me?


GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.


CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.


GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?


CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!


GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.


CALLER: How do you know that?


GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.


CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.


GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at your Pharmacy, 4 months ago.


CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.


GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:I paid in cash.


GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.


CALLER: I have other sources of cash.


GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!


CALLER: WHAT THE … !


GOOGLE:I’m sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.


CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.


GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…


Welcome to the future 😁
ENJOY…


Copied/pasted, unknown author

Add your own jokes, please, we all need a laugh.

Yay or Nay to Pineapple on Pizza?

139 thoughts on “For a laugh…

  1. following on from Leonie

    It appears Robodebt is still operational

    Why is the Commonwealth of Australia threatening me with a Departure Prohibition Order over $75??

    Because I didn’t check MyGov for a month, while I was transitioning into full-time work? Which is what you want me to do?

    Are you having a fucking laugh? How DARE you!

    the law says

    Tom Studans@maximumwelfare

  2. Best we keep the Poms well clear of any of our naval shipbuilding requirements. A few days ago we got the headline

    UK Nuclear Submarine Was Repaired With Superglue .

    Over the weekend a real shocker. For this to happen requires a ‘special’ talent for incompetence……………

    HMS Prince of Wales departure hit by ‘elementary’ blunders

    More humiliation for the Ministry of Defence as it is revealed the £3bn warship’s starboard and portside shafts are misaligned.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/02/04/hms-prince-wales-departure-hit-elementary-blunders/

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