Gullible Guru Gulled Again

(Image Credit: Muck&Brass)

To quote the (then newly appointed) editor of the SMH, Darren Goodsir, in 2013: “Hold the front page! Hartcher Has Spoken!”

When political savant and genius commentator Peter Hartcher opines profoundly about the Abbott Budget, the nation sits up and listens. So what was Pete’s Delphic Saturday SMH pronouncement in the on The Budget?

“It’s too early to abandon hope.”

You DO have to laugh, don’t you?

He then goes on to discuss, po-faced, one of the main reasons why Tony Abbott would not promote Turnbull to the office of Treasurer.

Abbott’s jealous.

So let’s let Joe “Misery-Guts” Hockey stay in charge of it. There’s years of trash-talking in him yet: how bad debt is, how they’re going to strip away benefits, lifter, leaners and, of course, “It’s all Labor’s fault!” THAT’ll get the punters back into the empty aircraft hangers they used to call “Harvey Norman” (been to one lately?), and let’s not forget Joe’s “glum” look and that special “cranky” one he saves up for important occasions… all this with the added benefit that Joe has been absorbing king-hits from Abbott since Tony first decked him on the rugby playing fields of Sydney Uni.

Hartcher today is back to his old tricks: writing-up restaurant gossip about leadershit. He even admits it was the drink talking. A group of Ministers, in their cups, sipping Scotch, reckon Joe should go, in favour of Malcolm Turnbull.

The Abbott government is already doing so brilliantly on Foreign Affairs and international diplomacy (says Perspicacious Pete), now all they need is Turnbull in as Treash to fix up the economy and they’ll surge ahead in the polls. The Nation will breathe a sigh of relief. Consumer confidence will soar.

He doesn’t tell us who’ll take over Communications after Mal’s bumped upstairs. That’s a shuddering thought if ever there was one. Bronnie, come on down!

And here’s the kicker: when all is said and done, Pete tells us, “It’s not gunna happen.”

Yes, it’s deep, deep, deep analysis from the International & Political Editor of the august Sydney Morning Herald. Youse can see why they pay Peter Hartcher the Big Bucks.

What next? Maybe he’ll whip around to the back alley and go through the skip? Then he can tell us what the Anonymous Senior Liberal Power Broker was doodling on his paper napkin. Maybe he can even suss what the fortune cookie said?

Thank God we have the likes of Hartcher to guide our thinking. Mr Goodsir was right: whatever Big H writes, Goodsir will print and say, “More please, sir”. There’s plenty of it, too. Goodsir’s Editor Of Many Things writes everything that everyone tells him. Oh, the insight! Celebrate the context! Praise the profundity!

The poor man has a desperate need to be relevant. To show he’s still connected and gets the good goss. Forever an insider etc., etc. And to prove it, he peddles plutocratic piss-talk from out the back door of the Greasy Spoon. “I am a camera,” says Peter (and he doesn’t mean “Box Brownie”).

Pity for Pete, he supported Rudd. That kinda cruelled the ground for later Liberal licks. He’s shut out now. Maybe he thought they’d thank him for the regular Ruddstoration Routine? Sadly, all the advice he’s offered Abbot on how to deal with everything from travel rorts to Oriental potentates has been ignored. Cassidy doesn’t even invite him onto the show anymore (has he ever been on it? Even when he was there?).

Look what his Rudd Love did for him and the country. Abso-bloody-lutely nothing. Rudd’s “triumph in the polls” lasted all of, oh, about a fortnight, and now Pete’s relegated to passing on Chinese whispers and leftover noodles from a Liberal doggy-bag.

It’s a shame that nobody – either in politics, or on the receiving end of it – takes any notice of Peter Hartcher.

Then again… thank God they don’t. His only fan, Darren Goodsir, should take the hint.

845 thoughts on “Gullible Guru Gulled Again

  1. Nova didn’t do a bad job of representing us at hockey and athletics and now she’s fighting the good fight in the Senate. No wonder Murdochia wants to bring her down.

  2. Got some retweets for this one, I thought some people on twitter would want to know.

    Quote below from a paywalled Nikki Savva article

  3. Leroy,

    Thank you. I let Space Kidette and Mari know, as I knew Puffy and Gravel would see the announcement here.

  4. Why is that there is no such thing as a good photo of Your Government luminaries?

    Think Andrews, Brandis, Cash, Dutton …

    There’s your alphabet soup.

  5. ” Why is that there is no such thing as a good photo of Your Government luminaries?’…You’d have to get somebody like Bio-Security Australia to do the photography..and I think the Govt’ cut their funding.

  6. Just watched Catalyst.

    Looks like Mary Anne Demasi is back after an extended stint in the sin bin after her report on statins.

  7. That first part of Catalyst is worth a view. It’s about how much wind it takes to do damage (I’m not referring to an excess of beans) and how wind sheers and humidity combine with clouds to create tornados. Of which, it seems, there are plenty in Australia.

  8. Prime Minister Tony Abbott will campaign with Premier Denis Napthine for the first time on Friday.
    The pair will attend a joint event in Melbourne in the morning, Mr Abbott’s first entry into the state election campaign.

    I wonder how many Libs would be tempted to race to Wodonga to prevent Abbott from crossing the Murray?

  9. GL,

    I bet it’ll be an invitations-only event. And that applies to journalists as well.

    Come to think of it, a “joint event” sounds like some getting together to smoke the good stuff.

  10. AJ,

    It is one of the downsides of getting older.

    But Scringler was one of the best: witty, knowledgeable, and best of all, compassionate to the nth degree.

    As I understand it, he went peacefully, and if one believes in an afterlife, he’s probably having lots of fun with his love, Jo, and their heroes Gough and Margaret.

  11. You can beat the hell out of drums or do it right.

    This is my favourite version of Sing, sing, sing (introducing Christopher Columbus)

  12. It appears that Abbott is not waiting for the results of TURC. He is off to the south tomorrow, to join in with the premier, announcing a new task force of police etc. to go after those terrifying criminals in the union movement. Nothing about pulling the rogue bosses into line.

    Nothing mentioned of why the police, up to this time, have not addressed these allegations.

    Even the assistant head of police down there could not name any when he appeared at TURC. Only kept repeating he believed the union movement to be run by criminals, bikie criminals at that. Only one name has been mentioned by anyone.

  13. Vale, Scringler.
    I always found his reminisces of his newspaper days to be highly interesting and an entertaining read. He was a damn good wordsmith,

    And I am going to do this,
    Vale Schnappi. I have no confirmation that you are gone, but I think that would be the only thing keeping you off Twitter.

    I remember sending you a link to Free Kibble, a site where playing a quiz each day donated 10 pieces of kibble to shelter pets in the USA, You let me know you had signed up and would do this daily,

    I am going to miss both of my online friends, Say hi to Gough for me,

  14. Yes, Mr Abbott keeping as you say, 70 within the country is clever. Has already led to two deaths. One here, an another in Canada.

    One hopes that they do not decide, if they cannot fight overseas, they will do it here. It seems that they did not plan any terrorist act, until they became enraged at not getting answers about their passport.

    Those who we seen, that got overseas seem to be putting their lives at risk. In fact one of the worse has been killed.

    Just saying Mr Abbott, sometimes acting tough does not work.

  15. It appears that Abbott is not waiting for the results of TURC. He is off to the south tomorrow, to join in with the premier, announcing a new task force of police etc. to go after those terrifying criminals in the union movement. Nothing about pulling the rogue bosses into line.

    Abbott is so transparent, trying to get a few “unions are EEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!!” headlines to try and get his Spring Street stooge re-elected because it worked before as 5-term elected prime minister John Howard can attes… oh wait, no it didn’t.

  16. Catch a falling star and The banana boat song…christ ..that brings back memories of my uncle, his little record player on the mantle-shelf, me a ten yr’ old lad staying up here at my aunties old place near Towitta creek … The kitchen tilley lamp hissing in the next room, it’s flickering light throwing strange shadows through the part opened door and reaching over the floor toward my bed,,,where I lay wide eyed and fearfully awake watching for ghosts…

  17. Just sticking my head around the door to say how saddened I am to hear of the passing of Scringler and Schnappi. The death of relative strangers (unknown in the flesh) ought not to affect one in this way but it would seem social media has changed all that.

    Rest in peace.

  18. NormanK

    The death of relative strangers (unknown in the flesh) ought not to affect one in this way but it would seem social media has changed all that.

    It has indeed. It was not until a poster over at Poll Bludger called Vera died that I realised it could be so. She was someone I only knew as a nom de plume with a friendly cow avatar on a blog but I found news of her death to be very saddening.

  19. Good morning Dawn Patrollers.

    Australia’s bowling attack has Pakistan right on the ropes again. 2/304.

    Waleed Aly can always be relied upon to put things into clear perspective.
    And the wheels of justice rotate in strange ways.
    The arse-about Direct Action Scheme gets through with Palmer’s help. Let’s hope the media are right onto the rorts and mates’ actions that will doubtless occur.
    Here comes a Great Big New Internet Tax!
    And here’s how metadata is being used commercially.
    Another Liberal “productivity improvement”?
    The ever-impressive Adele Ferguson tells us of the grilling the CBA chairman is in for when he fronts the Senate inquiry. I must say Sam Dastyari has found his forte in financial matters and is becoming a very effective inquisitor.
    Michelle Grattan looks at Abbott’s last week. She has a good dip at Hockey’s temperament at the end of the article.
    The three worst things the Liberals did yesterday.
    Shudders run through the APS as a new man heads up PM&C.

  20. Section 2 . . .

    Will idiot George Christensen claim that the BOM has been tampering with its thermometers? Anyway, it’ll be all OK now that Direct Action has passed.
    Greg Jericho on Abbott’s hypocritical call for changes to the GST.
    Peter Hartcher says that climate change has been (sort of) forced onto the G20 agenda.
    Mark Kenny with a cynical view of Abbott’s Direct Action “success”.
    Lenore Taylor writes in Direct Action.
    Here is an analysis of how Direct Action will create a pall of uncertainty.
    The Senate will look at the appropriateness of Hockey’s asset recycling policy.
    “Trust me to protect the journalists: says George Brandis. I bet that will be a relief to them!
    This Guardian story says that Brandis’s desperate and confused metadata laws are far from sold.
    A police state will descend onto Brisbane for the G20.

  21. Hockey and that little pizza shop – either he made it all up or he was stretching the truth – a lot. Interesting comment from Crikey’s Tips and Rumours –

    When the moon hits your eye … Ms Tips felt very sad for Treasurer Joe Hockey yesterday when he relayed his story of red tape ruining a meal of pizza with his family. Due to council regulations they couldn’t move two tables together in front of the shop, and there was a limit of how many people could be seated outside the restaurant. He told business owners he “exploded” and even called the local mayor to complain. We thought the age of entitlement was over, Joe? At this point Ms Tips remembered her teenage career in hospitality and sympathy quickly shifted to the staff and away from Hockey. But how onerous are the regulations on pizza shops in Sydney’s north shore really? Determined to find the venue that witnessed Hockey’s tirade, we made many calls to pizza shops in his local suburb of Hunters Hill. Then we received this tip:

    “The only pizza place near Joe Hockey’s house which is next to a little park is a rather lovely upmarket Italian restaurant called Cucinetta. Not really a ‘pizza restaurant’. It has a couple of bar tables and stools outside for smokers to escape to. Is this what Hockey wanted to use to eat his pizza?”

    We called Cucinetta as well, but they were closed — we’ll keep you updated on the investigation, though. While we are yet to find anyone who claims to have witnessed the incident, we did speak to a few pizza sellers who told us that there were in fact many rules that governed the number tables and chairs and the location of such outside their shops. So now back to the budget, hey Joe?

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