Memories…

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SIAbbott Turnbull Renaissance
Ah… memories!

Remember how they moved the Budget forward so that the timetable for a DD would fit the Constitution?

Remember how important it was to “reform” the Senate so that cross-benchers couldn’t dominate it?

Remember how vital the ABCC bill was? And how the journos told us that this time Turnbull had a sure-fire election issue? Yep, the Great Reckoning of 2016 was going to be on industrial relations: unarguably a Coalition winner.

(This was after the election was also centered on States rights, income tax, education funding, negative gearing, boats, and of course, terrorism. Turnbull had shown us all “how it’s done”).

Remember how “bold”, “brilliant” and “decisive” Turnbull was? Or so we were informed, breathlessly.

The long election campaign was going to do Bill Shorten slowly. He’d run out of steam by the end of it. Not to worry that the Coalition ran out of steam instead, and Turnbull had to chip in $2 million to buy the party the last fortnight’s worth of telly. “Jobs and Growth” hammered at us from all directions, on all channels, day and night and night and day: that did the trick.

They might have used the $4 million the NSW Electoral Commission was withholding, but Baird would have had to say where their real money came from first (and with so many apartments going up all over and above Sydney, and tunnels beneath it, admissions like that might have caused embarrassment in certain circles).

Remember Mediscare? How absolutely ridiculous it was to say that Turnbull intended to hive it off, bit by bit! Another Labor lie! Geez, that’s all they do! Malcolm got the AFP onto them. But even they yawned.

And at last we’d get some sense on Climate Change! Malcolm had already shown in 2009 that he was prepared to die in a ditch for that. He was sure to do it again, just as soon as he finished slagging off South Australian windfarms, and thenVictoria for closing down dirty brown coal.

We were going to have an exciting Innovation Nation. We’d all be writing apps, or something. With the CSIRO now leaner and meaner after mass retrenchments, how could we fail? When asked by Andrew Bolt to name three things that Turnbull had done, Eric Abetz famously answered: “Innovation, Innovation, and Innovation.” That really meant something to Australians.

While it might look like nothing’s fucking happened in the over a year since Turnbull came along to turn this somnolent nation out of it antipodean torpor with pure excitement, that’s wrong. Hartcher told us Malcolm was really doing: “Simply governing”. “Governing’s” not sexy. “Governing’s” not exciting. But “governing” is what brilliant minds like Turnbull’s do best. A tactical thrust here on State income taxes, a feint there on 18C or The Plebiscite. A bold advance by massed union-bashing tanks to crash through a weak Bill Shorten, flattening a Labor party riven with factionalism. Malcolm would show them The Turnbull Method, and it wouldn’t be pretty. Kath Murphy assured us he was holding back the brilliance, all the better to deploy it with devastating effectiveness: once he’d gotten an opportunistic” and “cynical” Shorten out of the way, and dealt with the Monkey Pod in swingeing style.

“Mirror, Mirror on the wall. Malcolm was the fairest, after all.”

Turnbull Mirror

Malcolm has so many brilliant things to say at any one time, he occasionally appears to be tongue-tied. But that’s an illusion. He simply has trouble figuring out the very best way of putting {whatever-it-is-he-has-to-say} to the simple folk, the little guys like youse and me, so they can share in the inspiration. The hesitancy and what looks like waffling are Malcolm choosing his words carefully.

And there are so many words! There are enough thoughts, bon mots, insouciances, anecdotes and sheer inspirations inside that pumpkin head of his to keep Australia in words for 300 years. We’ll never run out of ’em. If only we could get the Chinese to buy them all, we’d wake up rich and stay that way!

Now that Australia has a sensible Senate with no crackpots, lurk merchants, incoherents, con men, thieves, sleeve-tuggers, gun nuts, tree clearers, religious cranks, CSIRO bashers, spivs, shonks, homophobes, pedophile obsessives, Hansonites, Trump supporters, refugee tragics,  or unelectable slime-bags with less than 100 votes, “simply governing” has become so much easier. Now that Malcolm has his own healthy Reps majority of “1”, and every morning every one of them has to be marked off the roll by Head Prefect Christopher Pyne, can there be any doubt that The People have flocked to his side? Now that Abbott has accepted his lot in life as the Human Doorstop, we’ll have no more aggro from that poisonous little corner, thankyouverymuch. We’ll soon be rid of Gillian Triggs, too. So there.

Now that the Press Gallery’s prediction has come true, and the Ship Of State sails in the right direction, we can get some wonderful, brilliant, exciting things done. Let’s not forget the scribblers were right about Tony Abbott… both times (and all the times in-between). And they were right about Malcolm Turnbull as he dazzled them with charm, brilliance and wit. It’s so so wonderful to have a policy-driven 4th Estate that eschews the temptations of ball-by-ball politics, governance as a horse race and rank partisanship in political coverage, not to say their utter rejection of hero worship. No “Labor Split!” click bait for them! Most of all it’s wonderful to have a press corps that is never wrong, by its own modest (and frequent) admission.

Malcolm is setting us up. He’s getting his ducks all in a row so he can shoot them down with one brilliant bullet. He’s feigning weakness to lull his enemies into a false sense of security. Then he’ll Strike. Etc.Etc.

Pity his enemies now appear to have been those with whom he once travelled in fellowship: gays, Climate scientists, alternative energizers, the Jews in his electorate, IT professionals, human rights advocates and leather coat manufacturers (by the way, what did happen to the leather coats?). More fool them. They fell for Malcolm, hook line and sinker. The only ones who’ve stuck with him are the Gallery and Lucy. Even the cat has left the building.

Any day now we’ll see the Master Plan, from The Master Planner.

  • We’ll learn how Malcolm’s NBN is the best in the world.
  • How Teh Evil Unions have been doubling construction costs so that Bob Day can not pay them even more than he not paid them before. Bludgers.
  • Why 18C is threatening the very fabric of our society.
  • How reducing pensions will toughen up octogenarians and make them more self-reliant.
  • We’ll be ahead of the World in emissions reduction (what am I saying? We’re already out in front! Greg Hunt’s job is done, and he’s done a real job on the environment, that’s for sure).
  • The gulaged in Nauru and Manus will shout with joy as “humanity breaks out” (Kath has a such a way with words, doesn’t she?).
  • Gays and lesbians will fall in love with him all over again, after a peaceful, tender, informed Plebiscite debate has blessed their unions with the traditional generosity towards sexual matters commonly found in key sections of Catholic Church, the Anglicans, the Salvos, the Marists and the Yeshivas, all of whom suffered the little children to be brought to them. And boy, did the little children suffer! The $7.5 million funding to be given out to spread this calming gospel is worth every cent, but only Malcolm Turnbull saw that. After all, the Plebiscite was an election promise, and the Coalition never breaks election promises. Some things remain sacred. Even when Tony Abbott thought of them first. That’s why Malcolm got rid of him. If Labor forces Malcolm to go back on his word (but not, funnily enough, on theirs), you can bet he’ll tell us “They broke a nation’s heart”.

All Malcolm needs now is for the “opportunistic” Opposition to stop Opposing. That’s so 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015 (and in the last three they weren’t even the Opposition!). Even Tony agrees. And for the Senate to stop obstructing. And (I nearly forgot) for Tony Abbott to give up the guerilla warfare habits and backstabbing proclivities of a lifetime. Should be easy. The course ahead will then be clear to all, not just the political savants in the Press Gallery. Just all of them stop disagreeing with Malcolm for Chrissake!

Sleepers wake! Our never-been-so-exciting time in the sun is upon us! Certainty has triumphed over brutishness. Civilization over anarchy. We’re playing by Point Piper Rules now. Watch – and weep, doubters – as the well-oiled wheels turn.

Malcolm, the Renaissance Man, is still on his way, but will arriving any day now. When he does, at least there’ll be no need for this type of unpleasantness…

Turnbull potty Complete with Text

862 thoughts on “Memories…”

  1. Section 3 . . . with Cartoon Corner part 1

    Michaelia Cash and APS Commissioner Lloyd needed a win but they copped a belting instead.
    http://www.smh.com.au/national/public-service/michaelia-cash-and-john-lloyd-needed-a-win-they-copped-a-belting-20161107-gsjt0d.html
    The SMH editorialises that NSW Roads Minister Gay must step back from his opposition to point to point speed camera operation for cars and light commercial vehicles. It’s a Nationals thing.
    http://www.smh.com.au/comment/smh-editorial/duncan-gay-must-change-his-mind-on-speed-cameras-20161107-gsk7bd.html
    Mr Wobble hits back at “elitist” Russell Broadbent.
    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/george-christensen-hits-back-at-elitist-coalition-colleague-russell-broadbent-over-islam-speech-20161107-gsk6aw.html
    Michelle Grattan says that the government will face an ethnic backlash if it fiddles too much with 18c and the Human Rights Commission.
    https://theconversation.com/inquiry-opens-way-for-changing-section-18c-and-the-human-rights-commission-too-68438
    Martin Hirst really goes after News Ltd’s treatment of the truth.
    https://independentaustralia.net/life/life-display/trigger-warning-truth-goes-down-the-news-corp-memory-hole,9701
    Toblerone has to do better than this!
    https://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/nov/08/toblerone-gets-more-gappy-but-its-fans-are-not-happy

    Ron Tandberg says it all.

    Cathy Wilcox with Turnbull’s free speech experience.

    David Pope and the Greatest Show on Earth.

  2. Section 4 . . . Cartoon Corner part 2

    David Rowe and Roadkill to the White House.

    Sean Leahy with FBI Director Comey.

    Alan Moir gives us the end of the world as we know it.

    Chris Downes joins anxious families in the US.

    Mark Knight and the Year of the Underdog.
    http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/8a606b664cea4716d23d4f96fa74f89f?width=1024
    Alan Moir in Aleppo.
    http://www.smh.com.au/photogallery/federal-politics/cartoons/alan-moir-20150921-gjrcxr.html
    Another good one from Ron Tandberg.
    http://www.smh.com.au/photogallery/federal-politics/cartoons/ron-tandberg-20090910-fixc.html

  5. Turnbull and Dutton, anyone?

    Trump is heartily supported by the most reactionary and racist elements in US politics, because his program – such as it is – is in large part an appeal to white nationalism.

    When he says that he will “Make America Great Again”, in truth, as the commentator Arun Gupta pointed out on Monday, he’s offering to make Australia America white again.

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/09/liberal-politicians-barracking-for-donald-trump-thats-disturbing

    • Corgi can stay in the US when he has finished his secondment to whatever it is he’s supposed to be doing (but clearly isn’t) at the UN.

      The Yanks can keep the useless clod.

      Trump could offer him a job, in gratitude for all that grovelling support.

  6. More lies.

    Just last week we had this news.

    Announced on Friday, the Government’s Health Care Homes funding policy could see those with chronic illness turned away unless they’re willing and able to pay.
    Under the Government’s proposed changes to how doctors are paid, patients with chronic illnesses, which include cancer and diabetes, will have their Medicare funding for treatment for these illnesses capped. And if they have to consult a GP for issues other than their chronic illness, Medicare will fund only five additional visits per year

    https://www.yourlifechoices.com.au/news/medicare-funding-trial-to-commence

    Let’s just get that clear – chronically ill patients who sign up to the government’s dodgy ‘Health Care Homes’ plan will have to enrol with one GP, just one, and visits to that GP for problems not associated with their illness will be capped at just five per year.

    Or rather, were capped.

    Yes, that’s right. Another backflip. It wouldn’t have anything to do with poor Newspoll results would it? Nah, suggesting that would be very cynical.

    Yesterday that cap was removed and Sussan Ley, lying ofr all she was worth, told us capped visits were never ‘on the table’.

    They really do believe we have the memories of goldfish.

    North Coast Voices explains it all.
    The Murder of Medicare in Australia
    http://northcoastvoices.blogspot.com.au/2016/11/the-murder-of-medicare-in-australia.html

  7. I’ve followed Kirsdarke’s tip to monitor the Huffpost’s tracking of the Presidential. So far it’s still too early to know much more than the polling predictions.

    The good news is that the hotspots in the rustbelt don’t seem to have materialised. Ohio, which was all but conceded to Trump is lineball at this stage. If it’s anything like Australia, you’d need to know where the count is coming from. Michigan, which Trump had hopes for, is comfortably in Hillary’s camp. Florida is closer with HRC leading by 2, but a fair way to go. NC similarly narrowly Hillary’s. A couple of the Red states, Arizona and Georgia are very narrowly in Trump’s camp.

    http://elections.huffingtonpost.com/pollster#2016-general-election

  10. Oh, that’s disappointing, the HuffPost doesn’t seem to be doing the swing charts this time around.

    Oh well, at least the Guardian map has information about how each county voted last time.

  11. Alrighty, lots of results coming in from Florida, and it’s looking good for Clinton so far.

    There’s been a 3% swing to the Democrats in the Palm Beach County, which is significant as it’s one of the biggest. Miami-Dade, the other big one to look for meanwhile just looks steady.

    Most other counties seem to have a small swing toward the Democrats, although a few of the backwaters have a big swing to the Republicans, so what’s going on there will be clearer later.

    • Yes, it seems to be very diverse in Florida which is understandable considering its size. What I’ve seen on ABC-TV has Trump narrowly ahead but it’s hard for that to have much meaning without most of the vote in.

  12. From 538’s live blog the demographic divisions seem to be clear. Older less well-educated males are strongly behind Trump. Females are hugely behind Clinton. Other minority groups, African-Americans and Latinos (who have increased enrollments by about 60%) are very strongly for Clinton.

    All these are likely to be variables in the crucial states of North Carolina, Ohio, Florida and Nevada. Vote, fortunately for HRC is very much up for Trump in Indiana and West Virginia (once Dem a long while back). These states are Red already so that the surge is wasted.

  13. So far Clinton’s going very well in North Carolina and Ohio, but is behind in Virginia. Which is fine, because the rural areas of Virginia report back first. This was the case in 2012.

    I expect the opposite will happen in NC and OH, the race is sure to narrow in those states.

  16. In regards to the competitive Senate elections, the Republicans appear to have won Indiana and Florida, while the Democrats are ahead in New Hampshire and North Carolina.

  17. Beazley fairly confident on the count so far (which is unusual for him, one of the perennial pessimists in waiting for the count) mainly on the grounds that HRC seems to have North Carolina and Ohio in the bag.

    He managed to inject some of that caution pointing out how all over the place Florida is and that we might not have a result tonight. But I think that was just the more normal Kimbo caution.

  20. watching the figures for the US election on both abc and Al Jaz they are totally different its as if the abc figures are predictions whilst AZ are actual strange situation

  21. Watching the count on CNN and the commentary on The Young Turks.

    1.33pm AEST I’m calling it for Trump. Too many blue states trending red. Unbelievable. And very sad.

  22. I am not calling it for Trump just yet. It’s very easy to be spooked at this stage of the counting because the heavily Republican rural areas are counted first while the Democrat-rich areas in the cities come in later.

    That said, Florida does look troubling. But Clinton is catching up in Virginia; and North Carolina and New Hampshire are still close.

  23. It appears that Trump is going on to win. The momentum seems to be with him. Whoever would have thought, even Repugs thought that Trump was to radical. Unbelievable!

  26. Calm down, everyone. At this stage in 2012 it looked like Romney was going to beat Obama.

    Wait another couple of hours and see how it goes then.

  27. Fair point Kirsdarke. What worries me is that the early count so clearly shows a big swing to Trump. If this was an Australian election, it would be absolutely clear that Trump has won.

  30. had to put the headphones on at work.. the commentary of the ignorant, and ‘soft’ bigots/racists that is emerging as T picks up momentum is shocking me to the core. stunned to discover just how many of my colleagues have these views, as we are very diverse workplace. T has unleashed the hate, Bernardi, Christensen and Hanson must be dancing around… Even if HRC wins, it won’t be the landslide needed to push the haters back to the fringes of Republican party.

  32. Clinton has retaken the lead in Virginia, and some experts are calling Virginia for her. That increases her chances significantly.

  33. That’s the confusing thing. The polling places aren’t reported all at once, so they change throughout the night.

    Take the county where Detroit is in Michigan for instance. At the moment it shows 50-45% to Clinton, which would be an absolute disaster since last election Obama won it by 73%. However, it makes more sense when you realize that only 13% of the vote in that county has been counted.

    Also, Clinton has gained the lead in Virginia as we speak.

  35. I’d advise just looking at the maps on the results websites and don’t watch the TV shows and the commentary. People in the media (especially Australian media) are idiots that don’t know what they’re talking about.

  36. It seems that the yanks hate Hillary so much that they would accept a bankrupt, misogynist, lying, cheating personality, with no policy.

  39. What’s that thing Fizza is pumping in his right fist?

    Don’t answer that.

  42. What nice people. Going to make America great Again hahaha

    Denise Allen Retweeted
    Simon Rowntree ‏@SRowntreeNews 3h3 hours ago Manhattan, NY
    I am at a Trump rally in Manhattan, and thousands are chanting “We hate Muslims, we hate blacks, we want our great country back”. Disgusting

  45. With that being said, Florida and Ohio do look like they’ve been won by Trump.

    That’s not the end of the world though, there’s still plenty more votes coming in from North Carolina and New Hampshire.

  46. Starting to look a bit wobbly for Hillary just at the moment. From what I can gather she’s trailing now in Ohio and surprisingly Virginia (albeit somebody cautioned that it was only a modest portion of the vote counted). She’s also trailing in NC and Florida but they’re too close to call and may yet go her way. Pennsylvania which had been under attack looks fairly safe for her but a fair proportion of the vote still to come.

    It has caused a fair bit of speculation about whether Trump can yet make it, a la Brexit. he’d need just about everything to go right to do it. The demographic split is quite spectacular and this is what is throwing out the polls expectations. Rural poor have voted in large numbers for Trump, as have older males. Females have been strong for Clinton as have Latinos and African-Americans. Just through this part of America, taking us to the mid-west, those supporting Trump seem to be stronger. That may change yet again as the South-West count comes in and as the rest of the ‘in doubt’ states get more returns in.

  50. Nate’s calling Wisconsin and Pennsylvania as “in doubt”. Hell if they go, it’s going to get harder.

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