The Pub is proud to present Madame Leone’s cautionary tale for our contemplation.
(Image Credit: Perth Now))
The Pillars of the Liberal Party
Chapter One: The Making of a Liberal Politician
(OK, I stole that from Battlelines, but no-one has ever read that so no-one will notice)
Not so very long ago in a city in the south a baby boy was born to well-to-do, well-educated parents. They named their treasure ‘Joshua’ and a grand celebration was held. Two fairy godfathers attended – Uncle Peter and Uncle Alex. They bestowed great and valuable gifts on the infant. He would receive a lavish education, the gaining of which would take him overseas, then he would, of course, become a Young Liberal and one day, if the spell lasted, he would be Prime Minister. Uncle Alex added a bonus spell, Joshua would always have a beautiful head of thick hair and would also appreciate elegant footwear and fishnet stockings. The baby’s parents were overjoyed with these gifts, although they had their reservations about the fishnet stockings.
Young Joshua grew and flourished, becoming a somewhat chubby young man with, of course, a lovely head of hair. He had been sent to the best schools his faith had to offer. He went on to study law at Monash (although his mother secretly longed for him to study medicine), then, as his fairy godfathers had promised, headed off to Oxford and then Harvard. And, of course, he joined the local branch of the Young Liberals, also as promised. Whenever his travels allowed he handed out how to vote leaflets at elections and engaged in occasional Black Ops forays into the less salubrious, Labor-voting parts of the city. In every way Josh was the perfect young Liberal blue-blood.
(Image Credits: Wallace Wong and Steve Dunwell))
But sadly, all that study did not take and it became evident he would never be a lawyer’s bootstrap. One day his worried Papa took him aside for a man-to-man chat.
“Oh Papa,” said Josh, “I already know all that stuff, I went to Oxford, you know.”
“No, son, that’s not the purpose of this talk,” said his no longer very proud Papa. “I have come to a decision. It’s time you found a job.”
“Me! Work?” said a startled Josh. “But Papa, what about my doctorate and what about my professorship, and what about the next young Liberal BBQ and what about……”
“Enough!” roared Papa. “I’ve spent several fortunes already on your education and you are still as dumb as a box of rocks. And not even the smart rocks either, just the very dumb ones. I have decided. You will become a political advisor – no-one will notice your stupidity among that lot. Uncle Alex and Uncle Peter have already found you a position. You will be working for Darryl Williams.”
“Awwwwwww, Papa, noooooooo!” wailed young Josh.
“There will be no moaning, my boy. Go and pack your bags. you are leaving for Canberra tomorrow. Uncle Alex says he might take you under his wing himself if you do well with Williams, so work hard and keep out of trouble.”
(Image Credit: Project Gutenberg))
And so it came to pass. Young Josh took his first unwilling steps towards his eventual glorious future.
Alas, not all the spells cast by his fairy godfathers worked. Much to Uncle Alex’s dismay Josh began to lose his hair, slowly at first, then more and more, until his hairline looked as though mice had been nibbling it as he slept. And he never did develop a fondness for leopard-skin stilettos or fishnet stockings. Which is probably a good thing.
(Image Credit: The Advertiser))
Next chapter – A True Liberal Princess.
THE PUB 
Mr Credlin’s contribution to the cause:
Pyne directs Broomhilda to stand up and stop the applause for Shorten.
Nice pick-up.
Remember what she said when Tony Burke said she was taking orders from the Poodle?
Yep. Bill has finally delivered for Labor. Now I know I did the right thing voting for him over Albo.
The guy has presence. His speech was a classic blend of icy control and righteous indignation. I honestly didn’t think he had it in him. If this sort of thing doesn’t rally the progressive vote, nothing will.
I wonder if Hockey is dancing to this one tonight?
The latest ICAC referral is a real tangle. We will need diagrams and maybe even family trees to get our heads around the complicated relationships. Just how big is the Obeid family?
Metgasco project referred to ICAC as links to Obeid family emerge
ct-referred-to-icac-as-links-to-obeid-family-emerge-20140515-zrdfz.html?rand=1400133510431
Clark Kent will be fronting #installation tomorrow.
At least it stops fracking for the time being.
If anyone’s interested, Mark Latham will address a Community Forum at the Picton Bowling Club next Tuesday at 7 pm. Organised by ALP Wollondilly Branch.
Subject: party reform.
I thought I’d park this here so you can enjoy it again at your leisure- Shorten’s budget reply.
Good tweets from Poss
Is Kevin Andrews insane?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-15/budget-2014-youth-unemployment/5455906
TLBD
3. Employers were found by the courts to be guilty of those #insulation deaths in *every single* court case— Possum Comitatus (@Pollytics) May 15, 2014
Why the RC was always being a mega ‘Fail’ . Had to study chapter and verse the OH & S laws in the mid 2000’s . From reports in the papers of the coroners findings every one was a case of employers or employees breaching such regs. Regs that both parties have long been obliged to follow.
Just what the world needs, a religious (Hindu) nutter in charge of India
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-15/political-pundits-tip-narendra-modi-as-new-prime-minister/5455970
As Poss said, you would need an inspector at every installation.
This little black duck
With him being, rather than, captain catholic but Field Marshal catholic that is entirely feasible.
The Newstart changes most definitely will cause a huge increase in births to young single mums. For many young women the only way to survive will be to keep having babies. There are no jobs out there for poorly educated, unskilled young women.
Re Kevin Andrews: Well, you know Ducky, they all lie, all the time. They choose a happy outcome, and then blandly state that that’s what their latest piece of idiocy will achieve. All they care about is that people hear that that’s what’s going to happen.
The LNP strategy with Shorten is in part crapping on about how he doesn’t have any solutions, but it’s mostly about reinforcing the lie that there is a debt and deficit crisis. They’re bunging that falsehood into nearly every statement at the moment. For every reported assertion of fact – ie that the ALP left behind a sound economy with a AAA rating – there will be ten false assertions that the budget is in crisis.
The other thing is that the LNP are still getting away with the electorate’s belief that no PM would ever really do something damaging to the country. He’s trading off that underlying belief to get away with whatever he wants. There was a feeling about that assuming the PM-ship would force him into acting more responsibly. Even I thought he might tone it down a bit. Though I was probably just doing that to allay my horror. There are plenty of people still in denial, still hoping against hope that they can continue to let the direction of the country rest in the hands of whoever’s elected and that they won’t need to pay it any real attention. This budget will have shaken a few out the tree.
My only worry with Shorten’s speech is the usual ALP one. The MSM will hose it down and change the subject. It’s a great speech, and we really need a media capable of appreciating it instead of immediately swinging into defence poses against it.
Andrews isn’t crazy. If young unemployed people die, they no longer count as unemployed. Therefore the unemployment rate falls.
Evil, but not crazy. They know EXACTLY what they’re doing.
Just a danger to society then. Phew!
AJ,
Andrews’ – and the entire régime’s – modus operandi is despicable, to put it mildly.
A bit of reverse engineering is in order.
They don’t have to die – becoming homeless is enough to get them off the figures – only households are surveyed.
On an entirely different matter, Diddle – the exquisitely beautiful marmalade and white ragdoll cat from next door – hadn’t been seen in our garden for a whole long week. He usually resides under the Dodge Phoenix (afternoons), or the surviving plum tree (mornings).
So I phoned his servants yesterday, and was assured he’s always on the front doormat at dinnertime.
What did I see as I made a quick trip to the supermarket this evening? Diddle – ensconced in his favourite under-Dodge venue.
With that knitting-circle piece of news, I shall
Goodnight, all.
Lateline omitted to show the thunderous applause for Bill.
Tony Arsehole Jones will also be having a chat to Ian “we’ll make lots of money from students” Young (VC ANU). The bloke who has already castrated our beloved School of Music.
Ian Young looks like Cassius
I hope someone is tweeting that “Pyne tells the speaker to act on the applause” vid to “wanker Jones” at the ABC….it should be on the Lateline news…the little twerp!…just who the bloody hell do these turds think they are??…or rather..: Where the hell do they think they are…in Stalinist Russia??….God!…that poor old Bishop is past it…there’s no fool like an old fool!
jaycee,
Their ABC would not be game to show her comment and then that clip from today. They have tissue-paper balls.
The ‘independent’ Speaker taking instructions from Pyne, as always. Notice how he coaches her during QT and whenever she falters he rushes in with a point of order to allow her to get her act together.
Homeless may not count as unemployed, but they’re too unsightly for the Libs to deal with. Unless they can reprise Bumfights. I can see Young Liberals thinking that is a great laugh.
Nope, it’s death for the young unemployed. Unless they turn to crime (if it was me in that position, I can’t guarantee I wouldn’t do that).
Broomhilda has no confidence in herself and is totally malleable – by her side.
Desperate youth turning to crime also suits – you can whip a real moral panic and, as asylum seekers show, you can’t get meaner than a Liberal.
Also will need to build new gaols – private ones, of course, because we are so broke – run for a handsome profit by LNP benefactors.. Bonus is we can get the little buggers to turn out things ultra cheap and put pressure on the wages of those actually working.
We have a few on-shore detention centres sitting empty and there will be more as Morrison moves asylum seekers off-shore. I have this horrible feeling Andrews has plans for a new use for them.
Eventually, someone from Your Government will have to respond to the six months of no income.
It won’t come to that – it’s just a soften up process so they’ll fall over themselves to accept Gina’s offer to work down t’pit on slave wages.
TLBD
I saw those tweets from Possum & thought they were very good. Unfortunately he included a 6th tweet saying that Labor was totally crap about defending itself against outrageous allegations.
I think this is a bit unfair given the bias against them but they often do seem a bit supine, just taking the abuse & attempting rational responses that’ll be ridiculed or twisted.
And ‘aint we seeing one of those now with the reporting of the Batts? Coverage I’ve seen implies Rudd’s testimony was one long Mea Culpa. The problem for Labor here is that the “Batts Fiasco” is every bit as much the child of the media as it is of Abbott’s. I sometimes think it’s almost biblical. To the extent that there were problems, Australia sinned. By the country’s own admission its small business sector failed, was invaded by legions of shonks whose greed & negligence resulted in fire & death. Not all that much statistically but the decision was made to declare it an evil. Its own sin being too much of a shock for the country’s system to cope with, a sacrifice was necessary to purify the national soul & that by universal agreement was the ALP.
Whatever the truth of that, the Batts is dear to our media friends, they’ve created a national myth & they won’t have it torn down.
BSA Bob,
Labor will have to have someone do a JGPM give-it-all-you got on the HIP. I can think of two or three who could do that perfectly.
There is a small chance that the MSM is more receptive.
Thank you to those people who said nice things about my OH and me earlier. We mostly enjoy our volunteer work, even when some times we get exasperated with our lack of resources.
Tonight we were at a function and met a couple I used to know well 20 odd years or so ago but whom I now rarely see. They work in a charity assisting refugees to settle into our community, and do they ever go the extra mile! They currently have two refugee families living in their house whilst awaiting other options for housing. This is a semi regular ocurrance. For their holidays, they go to Thailand and similar places to work as volunteers in refugee camps.
I feel quite inadequate after talking to them tonight.
Mick,
No need to.
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/15/sudanese-woman-married-christian-death-sentence-apostasy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2VCwBzGdPM
BK wil be happy
http://www.abc.net.au/news/sport/afl/results/?seriesId=140&matchId=1&roundId=9&sportId=1
Thanks again, Duck.
Goodnight.
A huge stage win for Matthews and a HUGE finish for Evans!
I may have to take up cycling to win stages and get kisses from such ladies!
Australia has arrived big-time in international road cycling.
The interesting thing is that Cadel Evans outdistanced his rivals by more than a minute with only two of his team in support. He is now more than 1 minute ahead of them. He may not be odds on to win now but the odds are closing, and there are two weeks to go!
This little black duck .
Blimey Don’t tell me you’re one of those between 18 & 25 young unemployed that has got to learn to live on oxygen or fresh air now that the Libs are now in power!
You twigged. Damn!
What in the name of Joe Hockey are you doing here at this hour?