Shit, or get off the pot, Malcolm.

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Turnbull potty Complete with Text

Bolt today:

“Turnbull must virtually start all over again, but not just with a new team.

Now, with just three months to go before his first Budget and only eight or so until the election, he must find a new economic plan.”

Yes… well… uhm… d’errr.

The amazing thing about the public is that it has given Turnbull the Big Tick because they want to believe that a new captain – with virtually the same old team – can turn the side around from wooden-spooners to premiers in the space of a couple of months’ brainstorming.

It happens in schlok Hollywood baseball movies about baseball and gridiron – the new man, now off the booze, inspires a gaggle of numpties and misfits etc. – or every now and again in, say, an ice skating race – where you’re so far behind that when the rest of the competitors fall over each other you’ve got enough time to coast around them and win gold.

Not so often in real life.

Of course we are not addicted to real life. We are addicted to Reality Life, which is different.

In real life you work hard to achieve your goal. You genuinely innovate, “do the math”, “work the problem”, “science the shit out of” your predicament.

In Reality Life, your little brother dies, you write a song about the poor little blighter, go onto to Australia’s Got Talent and wow the judges (who look about as un-real as can be managed, which means they are “Reality Real”). You can’t write. You can’t sing. You can’t dance. But the promos for the show make out you aced it, all the way to the semis and then the finals. All it needed was a bit of a tragedy, mixed-in emotion and a modicum of good looks. And the inspiration to believe you could do it. It’s All Australia’s “Must See” episode.

I used to write here that Australia lacked confidence. Years of pre-Treasury Joe Hockey droning on about “debt and deficit disasters” and “School Hall” waste finally convinced the punters that we could have survived the GFC simply by simply inspiring ourselves to do it. His (and his cronies’) “relentless negativity”, as PMJG put it, got the idea into the voters’ minds that there probably hadn’t been been a GFC and, if there was, it was in the Northern Hemisphere. It didn’t have anything to do with us. Labor just liked racking up debt and spending our money for its own sake. As a result the nation lost confidence in its economic management (which had, in fact been the envy of the world).

Come Tony Abbott, with Hockey his John the Baptist hailing the advent of a Three-Word Messiah, and we made-believe that it was Muslim boat-people, Pink Batts and shoe malfunctions that caused our woes and the reversal of these would restore confidence. With an economy that was ready to boom with mining money and China’s insatiable urge to Buy Australian, all we needed was the confidence thing.

“Now there’s yer problem!”: now we have too much confidence.

Turns out the Chinese fascination with all-things-Oz was waning, their economy was finally levelling out, permanent growth was exposed as an impossibility and we found ourselves with a lot of holes in the ground that other people were making money out of… but only because they didn’t pay their taxes.

The Coalition’s Surplus fetish (and Labor’s half-hearted participation in it during a precariously hung parliament), borne of a classic tail-wags-dog belief that the government’s over-taxing of the people and under-management of their basic services brought prosperity for all (and votes for the government) just made things worse.

Enter Sir Galahad, Malcolm Turnbull. The Turnbull Renaissance was at hand. His witty insouciance, his urbane but cruisey style got the punters to thinking that all they needed to put the mix together was a businessman who could cut red tape, beat unwilling heads of slow thinkers together and Go For Growth via Ideas.

Unfortunately this was the bloke who had shed ideas and ideals like a snake with sunburn: the Republic, a decent NBN, gay marriage, Climate Change and many more. There wasn’t a Turnbull passion that couldn’t be discarded in the pursuit of office. But we – and I use “we” with obvious exceptions – loved him for it, or at least became infatuated. Here was another Easy Way Out: we’d charm our way back to prosperity… even better… Malcolm Turnbull could do it for us.

No need to work, or really innovate. Just talk about it and it would be so. Someone else, anyone else could take care of the details.

What no-one twigged to was that “innovation” is not an innovative idea. Innovation is “core”. It’s basic. You have to have it or you may as well not get out of bed in the morning. Talk of innovation being the new “thing” shows how much of a failure the Coalition’s time in office had been. But let’s hang onto it. Maybe something will happen, something new like innovation.

We had the confidence at last, but where was the other bit? Don’t know what I mean? It’s the Economy, stupid. The Coalition’s negativity finally bore fruit: they went out of their way to fuck the economy by talking it down. and they succeeded, just in time for them to win office.

The solution was easy: just talk it up again. All their mates were in on the scam. It was like the annual Lurk Merchants and Sleeve Tuggers’ Convention.

Good one Liberals! Good one Nationals! All hail the troglodytes! The village was destroyed in order to save it. Their recovery plan? Flog everything off. Reward their mates and party donors. Re-establish the old order. Telstra’s on top. Rupert’s still in charge. Miners are ripping squillions out of our earth. Transurban’s putting up its tolls and having a bumper year. Tony Abbott still lurks. What’s not to love about any of that?

But digging holes for one-time sales of dirt, building toll-roads to nowhere, selling off The Farm, applying duct tape to Foxtel cracks only puts off the inevitable crunch. Even the well-worn observation that we were “starting again” – two years into a government that said it had all the ideas ready to go in 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 – but which had systematically cut the country off at the knees as a favour to vested interests in fields as far apart as media, communications and even the education industry – should have rung hollow.

“Can’t bat. Can’t bowl.”

Sadly, to a nation addicted to the quick fix, the easy solution, the Grand Scheme where the other bloke has a go while you coast along doing the same thing you’ve always done, the appeal of Malcolm Turnbull was irresistable. Our national torpor could be maintained, and we could afford to wait for another miracle. Someone else had come along to save us. No wonder we gave him the Audience Vote. He let us believe it was just a matter of snapping our fingers and telling ourselves destiny was on our side again. An innovative new idea: “Innovation”.

I’m surprised the Stump-Jump Plough wasn’t trotted out. Or the Hills Hoist. Instead we got how wonderful the CSIRO was in detecting gravitational waves… omitting to mention that the branch that helped do was was sacked en masse years ago. Tomorrow it’s the Climate Change’s mob’s turn to join the Centre Link queue.

Where to now? Looks like Waffles’ polls are going off the boil, and the cavemen thirsting for revenge in his own party will be salivating. A bloke that was good at kicking helpless boat people around in secret isn’t exactly shining when it comes to sophisticated economic management in public. The commentators are getting bored (it was going to be so exciting). The ministry’s in a shambles. The nation’s going nowhere, with no plan and no leadership. All that excitement for nothing. As we enter the cold months ahead, there’s not even a Budget plan on the horizon. The back benchers must be restless. They’ve seen all this before. And they don’t like it.

Sure, Bill Shorten’s always good for a “question that must be answered”. “Labor waste” will be produced. Newspaper editorials will still give Turnbull the benefit of the doubt, but there’ll be less “benefit” and more “doubt”. Our Messiah, in that hesitant, “I-could-say-so-much-but-I’ll keep-it-simple-for-you-little-people” way he has of talking, will continue to pretend it’s all part of The Plan. Let’s have a Union Bashing recovery.

There’s a firey red Federal Police car parked on the corner outside the Turnbull residence in Point Piper. Who’s it there to protect him from?

Malcolm, there are so many threats, and so little time. Please shit, or get off the pot.

 

503 thoughts on “Shit, or get off the pot, Malcolm.”

  2. AIMN ran a piece of satire using statements and language taken directly from ACL literature and the words of members of that group, a very clever piece of work, but ……

    some of their readers took it seriously and missed the point completely. .

    You would think they would have caught on after reading “Hello. My name’s Bile Stiltson.” And after seeing the lovely image at the top of the piece. But no, they didn’t.

    You’re like a Rainbow
    http://theaimn.com/48995-2/

    Read the comments.

    ‘Satire’ does not mean ‘funny’. We are not meant to roll around laughing every time we read something that passes as ‘satire’. Satire is meant to make us think. Some people need to get their head around that. They might be helped by going away and reading a bit of Jonathan Swift. There aren’t any belly laughs or ROFLs in ‘A Modest Proposal’.
    http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

  3. Saul Eslake is on the money on this one

    The noted economist Saul Eslake, formerly chief economist for ANZ and for the Australian arm of Bank of America Merrill Lynch, has long been warning about the issue and his frustration at the rhetoric is palpable.

    “[Negative gearing] is a pretty large subsidy from people who are working and saving to people who are borrowing and speculating ,” Eslake says.

    “According to the latest available ABS data, which is for 2013-14, 72% of investment property assets are owned by, and 52% of investment property debt is owed by, households in the top 20% (ie the richest one-fifth) of the household wealth distribution.

    “So the argument that negative gearing is just about cops, nurses and teachers trying to ‘get ahead’ is just nonsense – as is all the stuff about ‘what happened’ when the Hawke government temporarily abolished negative gearing in 1985-87.

    “Indeed, I often describe that as an example of what Joseph Goebbels is supposed to have said, that if you tell a lie often enough and it’s big enough, it will eventually become accepted as the ‘truth’.”

    http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/feb/17/negative-gearing-parents-may-have-to-choose-between-themselves-and-their-children

  5. The Greens might be wise to look back in time to what happened to the Democrats when they snuggled up to closely to Howard’s Liberal Party.

  9. Sometimes I wonder whether the attitude of the Greens is “We do better in the polls under a Coalition government.” They certainly don’t regard the ALP as potential or actual allies. I think they see themselves as competing with the ALP for similar policy positions.

    I know the Greens would far prefer to look good than actually get anything done. They’ve demonstrated that before. Whether this has anything to do with their current position on the Senate I don’t know. But I’m absolutely certain their long-game is to replace the ALP.

    • Of course the Greens want to replace Labor. What a shame they don’t realise the government wants them gone. This agreement with the government on senate voting is pure self interest. They believe it will give them a boost in their senate numbers. They just might be wrong.

      Greens polling seems to go up when people are pissed off with Labor, same for their vote. Voters foolishly see the Greens as the party you vote for when you want to ‘send a message’ to Labor. Since Di Natale became leader the Greens have become more and more like a Liberal Party Lite, the party you go with when you can’t quite bring yourself to vote Liberal.

      What really gives me the creeps is Lee Rhiannon being responsible for the Greens negotiation on the senate changes. The woman is an absolute fruit loop. She may well end up as the new Meg Lees.

  14. The Kouk is not a fan

  15. Agirre

    I sometime wish the ‘like’ button could turn into an ‘agree’ button. I reckon your last comment is spot on and I agree with it.

  16. Nor is Katharine

  20. A golden moment from Gary Grey’s political career.

    Eating his own hair, or eating something he found in his hair –

    .

  22. Here’s the Socratic logic Morrison is using on negative gearing:

    1. The majority of negative gearing is doing by those with a taxable income under $80K
    2. Most nurses and teachers earn less than 80K
    Therefore: it’s fair to say nurses and teachers do the majority of negative gearing

  24. Budget 2016 will show who is the bigger waste of space: the current recumbent or the previous one.

  25. I see BK was watching the npc. Perhaps he would be kind enough to give us his opinion?

    • The full bit

      “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

      How very Christian: if you admit then that’s OK and we’ll let it be at that.

  27. Along with Katharine Murphy I did take note that Morrison wanted to be congratulated for coming up with a bad idea, tossing it around for a while, then dumping it.

    The whole thing had the air of someone who has just had a crash course in first year Economics and wants to show off the terminology he’s picked up. Are you all aware that there’s this thing called the Global Economy? Did you know China has a large economy and it can affect other countries? Is everyone up to speed with the relationship between revenue and expenditure? Oh good, well those are the sorts of things we’ll be focusing on.

    Morrison seems to be aware that those at the lower end of the pay scale don’t pay much tax. What he hasn’t figured out yet is that those people have lives.

    • ” Morrison seems to be aware that those at the lower end of the pay scale don’t pay much tax. “…but in the same manner, those people have no capacity , like the higher paid, to avoid indirect taxation…so in the end they DO pay a goodly share of the tax burden.

    • Yes, I was struck by that. The room had not a few experienced economic journalists, and here they were listening to absolutely nothing that they wouldn’t have written themselves a thousand times in the Fin Review or the Tele, or heard from some suit or bimbo on a TV news bulletin. Such gravitas flicking through his powerpoint slides. Telling them something that they might not know.

      Listen up you lot while I explain it to you. Scott Morrison: economics guru.

    • Same people would find little benefit in negative gearing even if by magic they could get together a deposit on first house, let alone second.

  29. This is frightening, and makes it plain that morriscum is a traitor to his own education:

    Morrison was educated at Sydney Boys High School, where he completed his Higher School Certificate, and other state schools. Morrison went on to the University of New South Wales, where he received an honours degree in applied science, studying economics and geography.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Morrison_(politician)

  30. Translation needed.

    • I had a go at translating that on Twitter. I think it more or less means that, when it comes to allocating where our taxes go, the government will be funnelling them to mates and backers in the business world.

      You don’t have to read too much between the lines of his statements to see that Morrison is all about rewarding those who are already wealthy. He’s pretty open about his preference for those who “work and save and invest”, which just means those with money. The more money you have, the more Morrison likes you.

      There aren’t too many ways to go about predicting where that will lead. He’s planning on rewarding these people, that’s the way he talks about them. Reward them and ultimately what you’re doing is taking more money out of the system and putting more money in their pockets. No political system that openly backs the concentration of wealth is viable. Inequity always ends up with corrections, sometimes violent corrections that involve angry citizens. What would be more likely here is some kind of electoral rejection of the Liberal Party. Sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

    • It takes the ABC to where it should be: to the cleaners.

      The reference to “advocacy” and Ooohmann’s article is damning.

    • Yes, it reminded me that during the interval of the Election Campaign 2010 Leaders’ Debate, Chris Uhlmann interviewed the relative of a Batts installation victim. As far as I know it was never taken upstairs for clearance, nor was Uhlmann ever disciplined for partisanship behaviour.

      Then again, perhaps it had been approved. The same management approved the appalling At Home with Julia TV series, something with all the class of a Larry Pickering cartoon.

  37. The MSM, studiously avoiding any comment on ScoMo’s Press Club fillibustering, except for Fairfax, where Adam Gartrell gave it a go, couldn’t find much to say and then abandoned the ‘if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all’ approach by quoting Chris Bowen.

    Shadow treasurer Chris Bowen dismissed Mr Morrison’s speech as “46 minutes of waffle, slogans and platitudes”.
    “No ideas, no vision, no policies,” he said

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/scott-morrison-income-tax-changes-will-be-modest-with-gst-off-the-table-20160217-gmwcyy.html

  38. http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/margaret-cunneen-a-special-guest-at-fred-nile-political-fundraiser-20160216-gmvbdf.html

    http://www.goldcoastbulletin.com.au/news/gold-coast/full-interview-mp-stuart-robert-breaks-his-silence-on-last-weeks-travel-expenses-scandal-saying-he-stuffed-up-and-vows-to-do-better/news-story/4dd72371e4157b35fdf2c4d1ec76cbef free

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-02-17/shenhua-unlikely-to-go-ahead/7177270

    http://croakey.org/outsourcing-medicare-will-a-tap-and-go-approach-lead-to-medicare-being-tapped-and-gone/

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-02-17/former-victorian-liberal-party-director-pleads-guilty-to-fraud/7176154

  39. duck
    I did endure the Morrison NPC waffle-a-thon but had to leave before the questions. It was an abysmal performance.

  43. Funny isn’t it?

    Just watched ABC-24. They gave the Mantach story second last billing and then only 45 seconds.

    $1.5million is nothing compared to Thomson making off with $6,000, or Peter Slipper with $900, of course… but you’d think the story would be slightly higher up the ladder than second last wouldn’t you?

    • On the radio news the term used was “swindled”, rather than “stole”.

      Framing and then some.

  46. I think you can guess what will happen if I catch any of youse wearing anything like this –


    .

    It won’t end well.

  48. Stephen Koukoulas on Scomo’s NPC ravings.

    Morrison delivers empty speech devoid of vision

    Treasurer Scott Morrison has delivered a rousing and long speech to the National Press Club where he outlined no policy proposals for budget repair, no policy commitments to reform the tax system, no concrete or specific ideas for government spending, no discussion of infrastructure and no outline on any area of microeconomic reform.
    This is odd for a Treasurer just 10 weeks from the budget and a few months from an election, where economic policy reform will be vital to lock in optimism about Australia’s economic growth prospects

    https://au.finance.yahoo.com/news/morrison-delivers-empty-speech-devoid-of-vision-032924571.html

  49. I get the impression the MSM journalists are scratching around trying – and failing – to find something positive to say about today’s appalling raving.

    news.com.au are not too impressed.

    Treasurer gives extensive outline of economic philosophy but no specifics in major speech

    Treasurer Scott Morrison’s speech to the National Press Club today started with that assurance and was followed by a ramble over the philosophy of Budget preparation in a “transition” economy.
    The Treasurer used sporting analogies, lingered over power point displays which the bulk of his audience, those watching on television, could not see, and told about a mate named Clay who did playful things with alligators.
    There were no specific Budget announcements, but a repeated warning that tax cuts relied on spending cuts, and no new spending — state or federal — would be tolerated

    http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/treasurer-gives-extensive-outline-of-economic-philosophy-but-no-specifics-in-major-speech/news-story/a4575b9256f176aacdf01d07f49fb9bd

    That bloke called Clay? ScoMo’s Yank, happy-clapper mate.

    ‘Flattering’: meet Clay Nelson, the Texan who Scott Morrison borrowed a catchphrase from
    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/flattering-meet-clay-nelson-the-texan-who-scott-morrison-borrowed-a-catchphrase-from-20160217-gmwe7k.html

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