Jonathon Pie: Comedy, Satire, and Some Very Colourful Language!

Thank you to Pubster CKWatt who put this excellent comedy sketch from England in the comments.

Pubsters, please indulge me. 

British comedian Tom Walker created the satirical character, Jonathon Pie. Jonathon Pie is a television news presenter who broadcasts live from outside locations. The sketches show Mr Pie between takes, saying what he really thinks about his subject.

I really like Mr Walker’s work, as the frustrated and angry Jonathon Pie. I particularly like his political satire. Jonathon Pie says it in a way I can never equal.

The Jonathon Pie advertised tour of Australian theatres has some changes, due to this Plague.

I would love to see his live show.

This comedy sketch is about Mr Pie’s’ opinion of the priorities of the UK government,  led by The Esteemed PM Boris Johnson, in the area of Social Care.

Language Warning.

In this sketch Mr Pie swears. A lot. A very lot. It’s kind of swearing I am sure most of us felt like shouting at the TV screen at times when listening to politicians and various commentators.

Let Jonathon Pie do it for you. Just keep the kiddies out of the room.

Now, this is a satire about British politics. There is no resemblance to any Australian politician, or persons or groups or any other entity. Any appearances of such are purely coincidental, misinterpretation or karma, and does not reflect, imply or otherwise anything about anyone by anyone for anyone, against anyone, to anyone or anyone’s anyone or their pet, or garden gnome.

You are free to draw your own conclusions, of course.

This is a bit of laughter to ease the minds of locked-down Aussies.

No animals, plants, or microphones were hurt in this production . . . as far as we can tell.

In what ways our once-strong culture of political satire will be impacted by recent developments here in Australia remains to be seen.

Can you name others? Elephant Stamps are up for grabs!

So enjoy what can still be produced and broadcast on social media, in the Now Brexited Olde Blighty.

Remember I warned you, his language would burn the ears off of a marble gargoyle… but I think it’s worth it.

‘The News Is Mad’ (T. Walker, 2020.)

Tom Walker is very interesting in this CNN interview from June 2020 which is posted on YouTube. Tom discusses the creation of Jonathon Pie, and the differences between the himself and his creation, along with his observations of our current poltical and social ⁷scene.

The interviewer, Bianca Noble, is excellent.

Tom Walker has a sharp political sense, and using humour, exposes the  contradictions, the hypocrisy, and the mendacious stupidity of our modern democratic leaders.

Jonathan Pie has us laughing through the dawning realisation that our only other choices are to howl at the darkness, or cry. Or both.

Australia on Fire.

Our Prime Minister Scott Morrison does not escape his dose of Mr Pie’s satirical medicine.

Please post your comments. Remember, stay respectful in your comments, and think about The Pub’s mods, and community guidelines.

270 thoughts on “Jonathon Pie: Comedy, Satire, and Some Very Colourful Language!

  1. The totally forgettable Scovid.

    Joe Biden forgets Scott Morrison’s name in historic nuclear AUKUS announcement
    Amid a historic announcement, US President Joe Biden stumbled over one of his new partners’ names.

    In a historic joint announcement with the United States and the United Kingdom detailing Australia’s nuclear transition, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been called “that fellow down under” by President Biden

    It is also a clear illustration of how little Australia and especially this PM means to the US. They see us as nothing more than cannon fodder.

  2. Scovid can sign up for new US subs and cancel a contract with France in a few hours, but it took him forever to order vaccines and when he did he botched the ordering process.

    He can agree to build nuclear subs as soon as our “great and powerful” ally demands but Australia does not have a nuclear industry so how will they be fueled? And where will the spent fuel rods be stored? In the shed out the back of ANSTO maybe?

    Will these subs become just like the F35s – hideously expensive useless junk unfit for purpose?

    Why are we investing in pie-in-the-sky subs when the federal government still has not purchased any new air tankers for fighting fires this summer?

    What about climate change? We are supposed to be terrified of China – Australia’s most important trading partner – and prepared to wait 10 years or more (I’m thinking at least 20) for new subs to defend us in a future war that will never happen, but Scovid does not see climate change as a threat.

    Will there be any oceans left by the time these subs are delivered?

    • Yup!

      China is still our best, most important trading partner yet this idiotic farce of a government is doing all they can to kill that trade – without having any alternative except the British FTA which will swap TimTams for biscuits.


  3. By the time Australia gets its hands on this fleet of white elephants the ‘war’ we are supposedly in vs China will be pretty much over one way or the other.

  4. The next war will be, and probably is now, a cyber war.

    I do not know enough about Defence to make an informed comment, but we are still feeding the military-industry-weapons industry while we cannot buy enough fire-fighting water-bomb planes.

  5. There is no way Biden would forget the name of the PM ofone of the two nations in this deal.

    I reckon Biden despises the Drumpf boot-licker and does not want to give him any help for re-election.

  6. Seth Meyers –

    Stephen Colbert –

    Jimmy Kimmel –

    Chris Hayes –

    Rachel Maddow –

    Brian Tyler Cohen –

  7. Remember this from 2014?

    Defence Minister doesn’t trust Australian shipbuilder to make ‘a canoe’

    And now the same Australian shipbuilders are supposed to be capable of building nuclear subs, something they have never done before.

    We do not even know how much this announcement will cost us, but we do know the failed French deal has cost us $2.4 billion – for nothing.

  8. There is a bit of Greens v Labor, and Albo kicking going on over the road.

    Scummyo will be pleased.

    My answer.

    Well, Rupert Murdoch can’t have much longer left to interfere with democracies, and his empire is going to the crock, so perhaps some sense will return to our media. ( lol that his succession plans crumbled to dust.)

    Then as this decision is unpicked over the years, amid the imminent threat of climate change, the focus on buying weapons of war may change.

    But then again, Global Heating might create more global conflict so we maybe will need 100 of each of conventional and nuclear-powered submarines and ships.

    Who knows?

    It is not enough to get anybody’s knickers in a knot.

    We dumped one submarine contract, what’s another one?

  9. What I mean is that I doubt this plan will come to pass.

    I do not see Morrison as a long term defence planner.

    This has the smell of an ‘announcable’ for the next election, leaving everyone else to do the weaving of the carpet.

    • Definitely.

      Even worse – Australia’s Nigel-No-Friends PM was no doubt pestering the US and UK to be included in their defence plans.

      You can just see him hitting the phones to Boris and Biden at the worst possible times begging to be allowed to play with the big boys.

      What is it with Australian PMs itching to leap into pointless wars that are non of our business? Boys, if you want a “Who has the biggest dick” contest (which is exactly what wars are) just go into the boys’ toilets and drop your daks.

  10. I am listening to a fascinating audio book.
    Alan Turig: The Enigma.
    by Andrew Hodges.

    I knew little about him but this books starts with his parents in India, his separation from the. while he and his older brother were fostered with family in England.

    It goes through his education at boys boarding school, entering Kingston College Cambridge.

    It tells in touching detail how he never really did fit in, always doing experiments, fascinated with science and mathematics.

    He hated sports but loved running long distances, cycling tours and mountain hikes, solitary occupations.

    The death of his teenage school friend, Christopher – for whom he had his first feelings of love, is very sad. Both maths geniuses, what they might have done in collaboration is lost to fate.

    His work before the World War Two laid the groundwork for what we would now call Data Science.

    I am up to 1943 in the war.

    At Blectchley Park they assembled top mathematicians, including at least one woman, clerks and stenographers, plus mechanical engineers.

    They got the best brains they could find, including Alan Turing, and they got on with their stuff.

    It was not just the Enigma Coding machine which they cracked. They had to do time after time as the Nazis changed their machines. They cracked other stuff. particularly regarding the placement of enemy submarines.

    I have not got to the part where Alan Turing was persecuted by the state to suicide for having a homosexual relationalshop.

    I see he was given a posthumous apology by a UK Prime Minister, and is featured on the UK £50 note.

    I think that part of the book will be quite angering.

    How much did the world lose from this gentle, humane, honest , extremely intellectual man’s early death.

    I will not see the name Alan Turing without sadness and disbelief at the cruelty of bigotry and stupidity.

  11. Finally got vaccination bookings “locked and loaded” . ‘Fizzer’ next Wed. and 3 weeks later. I thought it would be at government run sites but my GP said they can do it there from next Monday. Glad she mentioned it as reading what was in the paper it was only at Gov. sites.

  12. 2As’ take

    Thursday’s decision has been sold as a boost to Australia’s defence capability. But the absence of indigenous capacity actually renders us vulnerable, dangling precariously at the end of a supply chain.

    I can only assume Morrison is intent on softening up the Australian public in bite-size chunks, because in the real world, where assets with lethal capability get built and maintained, this proposal makes no sense.

  13. This will affect Canada’s election. Alberta’s approach had been lauded by some on the Right including the opposition leader for a live-with-the-virus approach, and now that have done a complete about face because the situation is desperate.

    Alberta to launch proof-of-vaccination program, declares health emergency amid surge in COVID-19 cases

    “On the outside of Alberta politics of this, I have to say, the Tories are completely f***ed. This story will be the only thing O’Toole is asked about today, and tomorrow probably, and whatever message he wants to sell about Toryism and Justin Trudeau will be lost in a fight about Kenney, vaccines, passports, and why O’Toole praised Kenney so much. “Premier Kenney has navigated this COVID-19 pandemic far better than the federal government” is a real line O’Toole has said before, and it’s on tape.”

  14. Que???

    I’ve referred to the other area surface capabilities that we’ve announced today in the upgrading of the Hobart AWD, all of these sorts of things, all of those very important to ensure that we address the strategic challenge. So while the submarines will be delivered when they’ll be delivered, so many more elements of the capability that are made possible by all this, will be delivering in the years ahead from now doing all of those things. And that’s what it’s designed to achieve. It’s designed to achieve now and it’s designed to achieve tomorrow. That’s what AUKUS delivers.

    Scovid shoud have a translator at all his pressers, one fluent in translating blather into English.

    Can anyone get the slightest understanding of what he was on about?

  15. I admit I’ve been feeling rather sick today with what went down with the geopolitical situation as it was announced.

    For an equivalence in history, this is like how Romania was tied to the Axis in World War 2 because they needed their oil. The USA is similarly tying us down here because they need our position.

    It’s likely going to lead us to disaster unless this insanity is corrected. We do not need nuclear submarines and it’s just absolute madness that it’s now on the table.

    • We’ve strapped ourselves to the mast of a ship that is rapidly taking on water. Cuddling up to a has been hegemon and the fading hegemon. Not that Bullshit Man cares, the deluded nutter believes the End of Days is nigh and he has a ticket on the Rapture bus.

  16. Good morning Dawn Patrollers. Unsurprisingly, this is a Nuclear Submarines issue.

    Submarines have been a costly debacle, but David Crowe writes about why Morrison has little argument from Labor.
    Both sides of politics in this country have long subscribed to the notion that any major defence acquisitions must be substantially built in Australia, no matter the national security consequences. But is the decision to go nuclear too late, asks Anthony Galloway.
    Peter Hartcher declares that Australia’s submarine program has truly lost its rudder. He concludes this outburst with, “So when Beijing’s spokesmen fulminate against this announcement, don’t be surprised if they have to pause to laugh into their sleeves.”
    Paul Kelly says that the AUKUS alliance represents a turning point for Australia.
    The AUKUS pact, born in secrecy, will have huge implications for Australia and the region, explains visiting academic Patricia A O’Brien.
    Matthew Cranston writes that American ships, bomber planes, satellites and military base personnel will have a significantly increased presence across Australia, to ensure an enhanced level of “match fitness” in defence of the Indo-Pacific.
    Rob Harris tells us how the AUKUS pact came about.
    Katherine Murphy also looks at the genesis of the pact and says that Morrison wasn’t prepared to bring it up with the US until “Joe Biden ended the Trumpocalypse”.
    This pact ties Australia to any US military engagement against China, writes Paul Keating.
    Latika Bourke reports that a furious France says Australia stabbed it in the back while the United States was accused of conducting a “hostile act” by helping sabotage a $90 billion submarine deal, as the shockwaves from the new AUKUS alliance spread across the continent yesterday.
    Bevan Shields writes, “As far as slaps across the face go, they don’t come much bigger than this. And the giant backhander Australia just delivered France and its President, Emmanuel Macron, is bound to be repaid in kind.”
    Chris Barratt explains how China has declared the new defence pact between Australia, the United States and the United Kingdom “gravely undermines regional peace and stability” while branding Australia’s acquisition of nuclear-powered submarines a damaging setback to global non-proliferation efforts.
    David Crowe looks at reactions in Australia to the nuclear submarine fleet decision.
    SA defence and engineering businesses have been left reeling by Thursday’s bombshell abandonment of Naval Group’s $90bn submarines program, after spending years positioning themselves for contracts with the French shipbuilder. In the wake of the federal government’s U-turn on submarines, there are now fears many local suppliers will simply walk away from the defence industry given the long lead times and uncertainty surrounding major projects.
    Joe Biden appeared to forget Scott Morrison’s name, but the Australian Prime Minister now has a nuclear-powered story for the coming election, says Tony Wright.
    Josh Butler says that the Morrison government’s intercontinental announcement of a new defence alliance and a historic nuclear submarines plan came with a lot of flash but left many questions unanswered, with key details missing on cost, timing and even what Australia will actually receive.
    The nuclear submarine deal intensifies Australia’s military cooperation with the US. It will be up to our regional neighbours to decide whether, as Scott Morrison says, the deal will help and not hinder them, writes Geoff Miller.
    In addition to the $4 billion reportedly already spent on the now redundant French-Australian joint venture, it is understood taxpayers will have to stump up at least $450 million in contract cancellation fees. It is the Seasprite helicopter debacle all over again, but on a much larger scale, says the editorial in The Canberra Times.
    Christian Porter’s future on the front bench may be known within days, with the Prime Minister prepared to dump him from cabinet if formal advice finds he breached ministerial standards by accepting anonymous donations for his legal fees, writes Lisa Visentin.
    From Phil Coorey. Scott Morrison says he is not afraid to make a difficult decision regarding Christian Porter accepting help with legal fees from a blind trust, while Labor says the cabinet minister should be sacked straight away.
    Michelle Grattan reckons Porter’s funding from a ‘blind trust’ is an integrity test for Morrison.
    Anne Summers sees no sign that ‘ugly Australia’ has learnt from its treatment of Julia Gillard.
    The employment bloodbath revealed in Thursday’s Labour Force figures delivers a damning verdict on the government job support programs that replaced JobKeeper. Andrew Charlton explains how the data reveals the massive scale of lost jobs, shifts and gigs in the states affected by lockdowns.
    Victoria’s latest COVID-19 lockdowns are set to plunge public finances billions of dollars further into deficit this year and force the government to ramp up its already all-time-high debt, writes Noel Towell.
    A dozen of the state’s top cardiologists were forced into isolation and urgent heart procedures cancelled after two unvaccinated nurses worked while infectious with COVID.
    The overseas experience shows that Covid is becoming a pandemic of the unvaccinated. The disease doesn’t care if you eat organic or not, writes Bridgid Delaney in this swipe at crackpot theorists and antivaxxers.
    The AIMN tells us how the shine if Golden Gladys is fading.
    Google must explain what steps it has taken to ensure the company’s platforms and advertising capabilities are not “exploited for misinformation” in the run-up to the next federal election, Labor’s national secretary, Paul Erickson, has demanded. Katherine Murphy looks into the issue.
    Queensland has passed laws that will allow voluntary assisted dying for people with a terminal illness, with an overwhelming majority of MPs voting in favour.
    Nick Toscano and Mike Foley tell us that Sussan Ley has approved Whitehaven Coal’s Vickery mine extension in NSW despite ongoing legal action to determine whether she has a duty of care to protect children from new fossil projects’ contribution to global warming.
    The Age tells us that Victoria will reject electricity market changes that prop up fossil-fuel power stations, and any changes must prioritise zero-emissions technology.
    Businesses must stop “greenwashing” and take concrete steps to tackle climate change, writes Greenpeace Australia Pacific CEO David Ritter.,15525
    It looks like former “Arsehole of the Week” nominee Richard Pusey just can’t help himself!

    Cartoon Corner

    Cathy Wilcox

    David Rowe

    Matt Golding is in great form today!

    Peter Broelman

    Alan Moir

    Simon Letch

    John Shakespeare

    Glen Le Lievre

    Mark Knight

    Jim Pavlidis

    Leak resplendent in his full colours

    From the US

  17. The first thing I saw this morning was “Dutton blasts China”. He reckoned China’s displeasure over the subs deal was “immature”. He desperately wants a war, any war will do but he really, really wants one with China.

    Doesn’t this loon realise China’s defences vastly outnumber Australia’s? A war with China would be over in minutes and we would lose.

    We have no hope at all as long as these warmongers are in charge. Labor isn’t any better, sadly. Yesterday Albo said he welcomed the submarine deal. FFS! He should be railing against it.

    If you didn’t see it here it is.

    When will Australia and its dumbed-down inhabitants realise the US is just using us? The US will not rush to protect Australia in the event we are ever attacked, they will run in the opposite direction.

    Australia has secretive US bases, Pine Gap, used for intelligence gathering, the Naval Communications Station Harold E Holt at Exmouth in WA. and Australian Defence Satellite Communications Station (ADSCS} near Geraldton which is part of the US signals intelligence and analysis network ECHELON. That base also includes a separate US facility which handles satellite communications. We also have a large and growing military base, Robertson Barracks, near Darwin. which Labor (Gillard government) signed up for.

    The US also has access to Australia’s defence facilities, airfields etc whenever they want.

    All these bases are referred to as “Joint Facilities” but that is a lie. Australians, including our government, are not permitted to know what is done at those bases, although we do know the CIA and NSA have staff there. We do know they will be first strike targets – probably nuclear targets – should any country decide to take action against the US. Anyone can see you wipe out communications bases, drone control facilities, intelligence stations and satellite dishes first, and we know those bases are used for such things.

    This article, from 2012, explains in more detail.

  18. Seth Meyers –

    Stephen Colbert –

    Jimmy Kimmel –

    Chris Hayes –

    Rachel Maddow –

    Brian Tyler Cohen –

  19. Jobs for the mates.

    The man who ran the Minerals Council when it gave Scott Morrison a lacquered lump of coal that he took into parliament to goad the opposition has been appointed Australia’s ambassador to the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development in Paris.

    Former Minerals Council boss Brendan Pearson was most recently a senior trade adviser in prime minister Scott Morrison’s office and has held a number of roles in the department of foreign affairs and trade. He has also worked with global coal giant Peabody Energy.

    Former finance minister Mathias Cormann, for whom Pearson also previously worked, took on the role of OECD secretary general in June.

    Pearson’s appointment, like that of Cormann, has not been universally lauded.

    Richie Merzian, climate & energy program director at the Australia Institute, said the appointment would damage Australia’s reputation.

    “The Australian Government already has a reputation as a lobbyist for the fossil fuel industry and the appointment of a fossil fuel lobbyist to represent Australia at the OECD in Paris does little more than cement this growing global perception.

    “Mr Pearson not only has a history of exaggerating the benefits of coal and ignoring its costs, but he oversaw one of Australia’s great public relations backfires, the 2015 ‘coal is amazing’ ads.”

    The OECD provides advice, analysis and research on a range of issues including trade, health, employment, agriculture, aid, energy, education, the digital economy and environment policy.

    While the ambassadorial role is usually staffed by a career diplomat, Pearson is not the first political appointment to the post. Wayne Swan’s chief of staff Chris Barrett served as ambassador from 2011 to 2014

  20. On a more happier note, I’ve listened to ABBA’s new song for the first time today, and I feel that it’s really comforting and beautiful. At least for me.

    • Yes! A gift to us all, even for those still living unpenned and in clover over here in Westralia! And maybe our Premier’s smiling remark about ‘secession’ was it? has given us a tasty tang as an extra on the side for us……a fun idea to play with!

      Mind you, joking aside, the Feds have a lot of explaining to do re those submarines and all those jobs and dollars down the drain in Canberra.

  21. leonetwo at 9:07 AM

    When will Australia and its dumbed-down inhabitants realise the US is just using us? The US will not rush to protect Australia in the event we are ever attacked, they will run in the opposite direction.

    Not for a veeery long time.


    It’s estimated that 43 per cent of Australian adults lack the literacy skills to manage everyday tasks.

    • The Junkee piece on Scovid and his football teams –

      Laugh of the day – probably of the week, month and maybe the year – Scovid saying “I am never going to be something I am not. I am not going to be inauthentic, what you see is what you get.”

      What the hell does “authentic” mean? As far as I can see it’s just advertising speak. We used to see it all the time in reference to Abbott, too, so It must mean “lying arsehole”.

      What we see is what he wants us to see at any given moment. He outdoes any chameleon with his lightening changes of allegiance, policy, image and loyalty.

      Maybe he will hold to something he says for a whole minute before ditching his avowed “loyalty” or “authenticity” for something more opportune.

  22. Scovid is not being a little coy with the truth: he’s throwing it out the window (as usual)

    The federal health secretary, Prof Brendan Murphy, updated the nation’s leaders on the health system’s capacity to deal with Covid as the country transitioned into the next phases of the national plan, as well as the capacity of test, trace, isolate and quarantine practices, given its importance to the plan’s success.

    Those updates were not released, with Morrison noting the “leaders discussed in detail the health system capacity within jurisdictions, with further analysis to come back to the next meeting of national cabinet”.

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