The Prime Muppet’s Bible

For some strange reason, I’ve had the feeling for quite a while that any resemblance between extreme evangelical Christian scripture and that of mainstream Christianity is accidental at best.

As I’ve said before, I am an atheist, but from my education (not my family upbringing) I am very familiar with the Bible, especially the King James version. I’ve also read it, including the Apocrypha. (And I’ve read the Koran, and numerous Buddhist and Hindu texts).

So, tonight I am wondering what bits of the “mainstream” Bible our dear Prime Muppet might adhere to.

My choice should be obvious by the image above.

Yours? (Play fair, only one nomination per Pubster).

193 thoughts on “The Prime Muppet’s Bible

  1. The GG’s Weekend Magazine doing quite a puff piece on Sally McManus. Most unusual. Not a trident or horns in sight.
    Who’s afraid of Sally?

    Sally McManus sits three rows from the try line at Melbourne’s AAMI Park, nursing a beer, talking about the one time she felt compelled to unleash her formidable martial arts skills on a stranger…………………….On weekends McManus, 47, regularly sets off early for Melbourne’s Western Treatment Plant to pursue her twin hobbies of bird watching and photography. The 10,500ha sewage farm in ­Werribee is an internationally recognised bird habitat for more than 280 species, including shorebirds that travel from Siberia each year. McManus goes in search of raptors and orange-­bellied parrots. “It’s sort of exciting, going out, not knowing what you are going to find,” she says. “The skill of taking the photo. You are living in their world, and they don’t give a shit about ­anything. I find it very relaxing.”

  2. Thank you Fiona.

    I wonder why the Rupertarium was so nice to a, GASP,! ‘union boss’ ? SOP is Union leader , especially a slightly boslhie one, equals——

    • Oddly enough, I was reading the article as you posted your link.

      As for the motive?

      Maybe Morloch has realised that he can’t do anything to stop the ALP being elected? So he’s doing everything he can to duchess every possible ALP-associated person, in the hope of “swaying” them when the time comes?

    • It seemed friendly enough, but did everyone notice the fear-mongering about the CFMEU being “emboldened by the next Labor government? Or the unfavourable comparison with Ged Kearney? Or the attention paid to comments from the BCA? It’s a very soft approach, true, but it still tries to paint McManus as some sort of ultra-left,militant control freak unionist..

      Beware of Murdochs bearing gifts – there’s always an agenda.

    • No probs, Puffy.

      And I have a back catalogue of something like four thousand “important articles” …

  3. leonetwo

    Any Murdoch, with or without gifts is a bloody menace with an agenda and whatever it is it won’t be good for the ‘99%’.

  4. Murdock reckons he can bear three years of a Labor gov’t while the Libs sort themselves out and then he will toss Labor out and put the Libs back in. He said so.

    So Labor had better be ready for him because it will be Julia Gillard persecution all over again.

    Unless of course, his maker calls him home in the meantime. But I do not know if even Old Nick would want him.

  5. At long bloody last!

    Must be 20 different versions.

    Now working on what will be the final planting plan for my 10 cider apple and 6 cherry trees to be planted next April.

    I have been informed that perry is a finer drink than cider so after planting the 16 trees (in 14 days, tough schedule considering the clay soil, be pretty bloody hard in April (was this April!)) I will try to prepare planting sites for some initial perry pears.

    And I had some good news about perry pears: the nursery I use told me today that they had added “Green Horse” to Gin, Moorcroft and Yellow Huffcap perry pears! Now, Beurre bosc is a perry pear which surprised the hell out of me! But Green Horse was originally a culinary pear too. Seems the Bb gives a nice pear flavor to a perry—and contributes plenty of sugars to the ferment I bet! that is five different perry pears, nice mix.

    So once I have drawn up the ultimate planting plan I can start adding more trees to it!

    Been playing with different ways of planting the cherry trees. Want to keep them small, easy to prune, spray (neem oil, fish hydrolase and kelp) and net and pick. I have zero interest in feeding birds! The cherry trees will be planted in the simplest, easiest to manage pattern: a straight row with the trees 750mm apart: root competition then keeps the trees small.

    Big problem with semidwarf trees: no matter what your nurseryman swears to on a stack of bibles semi dwarf fruit trees will grow bloody big, nearly as big as the same tree on original, non-dwarf rootstock. So plant the tree, one year old, then get your secateur and cut the stem 60cm, knee height. This means main branches start low, easy to pick etc. Don’t plant a semi-dwarf fruit tree in the shade—they will grow big to get into the sun. Plant them close together, 3-4 trees in a hole a metre across. Keep the centre of all the trees empty to let in light and air. Prune in summer, Christmass–New Year week.

    Bit of work and thought needed. but semi dwarf trees can cope with more soil types—even my unlovely clay—resist diseases better etc. Anybody could grow a semidwarf Granny Smith (one parent thought to be French Crab) which doesn’t need much chill plus peach plum etc trees. One of my culinary apple picks. is Court Pendu Plat, the apple introduced into Europe by the Romans 1500 years ago. And it blossoms late, will pollinate the Brown Snout cider apple that also blossoms late (early November.)

    If you add honey to a cider to make a mead it is called a cyser, if you add honey to a perry it is called a peary. Honey added to a winemust makes a pyment, all other fruit-added meads are called melomels. And if/when I add honey to a beer wort I make a braggot. Lots of other mead types besides these. And I will make them all! No shortage of fruit!

    • Political Animal, that is a formidable undertaking, Digging holes in clay is always a challenge, as I’ve found in the past.

      I always enjoy reading your posts – you’ve obviously done a lot of research and meticulous planning for your project. I love the wonderful names for the cider variants too.

      I hope it’s not too long before you see blossoming trees and the excitement of harvest.

  6. Good morning Dawn Patrollers.

    Michael Koziol reports on another spray delivered by Malcolm Turnbull.
    And Connie F-W also has a spray.
    Katharine Murphy writes that Morrison’s Israel embassy policy cannot be fathomed – and risks his political survival.
    And Bob Carr says that the Coalition’s Israel embassy move trashes Australia’s reputation as a serious country.
    Peter van Onselen tells us why politics appears to be so bad.
    Jacqui Maley critiques Frydenberg’s video for both style and content.
    Tracey Hind has some ideas on conditional negative gearing.
    The CIA’s conclusion that the murder of Jamal Khashoggi was ordered by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman has been described as the most damaging blow yet to the de facto Saudi leader, officially placing him at the heart of a scandal that continues to shake the region.
    Doctors at the embattled new Northern Beaches Hospital have threatened to withhold treatment from private patients in a desperate move to force the state government to act on their concerns about the under-resourced facility.
    The health minister has told Healthscope to fix the problem but he won’t step in to act.
    Matt Wade says that Morrison’s Pacific pivot must not come at the expense of traditional strengths in Australia’s aid program.
    Is there a secret to understanding primary school reports these days?
    Sally Whyte reports that Hundreds of IT contractors were shown the door at the Department of Home Affairs in Canberra this week due to budget pressures, with industry experts fearing a flood of workers will push down incomes across the sector.
    With only a week to go till polling day on Saturday 24 November, interest in the Victorian state election seems to be at an all-time low. Cynical voters seem unmoved by the predictable strikes against the planet in the form of yet another Coalition-led proposal for a coal-fired power station, party pledges for free tampons and tellies and have tuned out on political scandals — Greens candidates rapping on about date-rape or forgetting their knickers, aspiring Libs starring in anti-Muslim videos and Labor dodging police interviews. For academic and journalist, Dr Martin Hirst, the fog of indifference that has descended on Victoria is blinding voters to the real threat of an upset.
    Theresa May’s remaining cabinet ministers have put a price on their loyalty, as sources say she only has a week to meet their demands.
    Nick Cohen accuses the right in the UK of driving the country towards destruction.
    Behind the scenes at Westminster and the teetering fate of the British government lies an even more profound change in British politics: the very real possibility of the break-up of the United Kingdom.
    Former CIA chief James Clapper has come out of the shadows to attack Trump.
    After several career changes it seems Mark Latham has found an appropriate home in the One Nation Party, writes Jacinta Coelho.,12108
    Matthew Knott writes about the battle to end gerrymandering in the US. It really is a disgrace over there.
    Greg Jericho reckons Keating’s got it wrong about superannuation.
    The dangerous building cladding issue is causing a lot heartache in Victoria.
    Queensland Liberal National party moderates have warned of a “rum rebellion” if the party’s state council meeting in Bundaberg this weekend takes action against three MPs who voted for abortion rights.
    Here’s Peter FitzSimons’ weekly column complete with a good joke.
    The world of professional darts has been rocked by two players accusing each other of repeatedly breaking wind during a match.
    Kate McClymont reports on a trial at which todays nomination for “Arseholes of the Week” are appearing.

    Another paltry Cartoon Corner.

    Zanetti and Theresa May’s woes with Brexit.

    More in here.

  7. A real life match for GOP Jesus. WTF!
    This Gozitan Priest Rolled Up In A Convertible Porsche Pulled By A Line Of Children To His Inauguration

    • Good grief!

      I don’t know what’s worse – the Porsche or the kids.

      BTW- Catholic priests do not take vows of poverty, that’s only for nuns and brothers, so a priest is free to own as many Porsches as he wants.

  8. Katharine Murphy says she can’t fathom FauxMo’s embassy plans. She writes a long article trying to find an explanation and completely misses the bleeding obvious – FauxMo’s Pentecostal faith.

    She says “Morrison, for the record, has said his view on the Jerusalem question is not influenced by his faith.”

    FauxMo is not renowned for telling the truth, whenever he opens his mouth he lies, so why would we believe him on this? He just blurts out whatever he thinks will get him out of yet another self-inflicted crisis. He lies constantly. Not very Christian of him, but then he’s not a real Christian at all, just a member of a cargo cult church that preaches a dodgy prosperity gospel.

    For FauxMo and his religious mentors and advisers it is religious doctrine to regard Jerusalem as the true capital of Israel. Pentecostal churches usually include prayers for peace in Jerusalem and the advancement of Israel into their Sunday services. I’ve never been to Horizon Church so I can’t say it’s done there, but I’d bet it is. It’s part of their belief that the Bible is the literal truth, they believe Jesus will soon return and reign in Jerusalem for a thousand years. For that prophecy to come about there needs to be an end to the strife in the Middle East and Jerusalem needs to be established as the accepted capital of Israel.

    FauxMo is following his church’s beliefs with his loopy decision. The Wentworth by-election campaign allowed him to push forward his own religious beliefs dressed up as government policy. That particular belief, he thought, would go down well with Wentworth’s many Jewish voters (who are mostly rusted-on Liberal voters anyway) so his timing, to him, was clever. (He forgot an important part of that particular prophesy involves the conversion of the Jews to Christianity. He, like his church and all other Christian churches, assumes that will be OK with them. Jews today see this doctrine as anti-Semitism and some regard it as something akin to the Holocaust. To the nation it looked like a desperate last-minute attempt to win a few more votes, which it was, in part. It may well have lost him some votes of former rusted-on Jews. Now not only is he in a very difficult place politically, he’s also in a very bad place with the leaders of his cult.

    If he backs down then politically he makes a fool of himself and risks being accused by his enemies in the Liberal Party of allowing foreign powers to dictate Australia’s foreign policy. He will also anger his cult leaders, who have been crowing about his rise to PM as “God’s will” and rejoicing over having the first (and hopefully last) Pentecostal PM. Some have even gone as far as predicting doom and gloom descending on this country if FauxMo is not re-elected. You might remember this –

    If he sticks with his decision he delays the signing of the FTA with Indonesia until, most likely, after the next election, when Labor will do it and claim all the credit, and he risks angering not only Indonesia but Malaysia as well. Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad has already warned our government that moving the embassy would increase the threat of terrorism in this region. Even worse, he destroys Australia’s international reputation, already running downhill fast because of the way we treat refugees and asylum seekers, and because of this government’s refusal to accept the science of climate change and reduce our emissions. Insisting the embassy be moved will cause a major international diplomatic crisis, something no-one in this government is capable of handling successfully.

    Murpharoo tells us Pyne, Abetz and others have tried to explain FauxMo’s plan as part of a two-state solution, a plan to end up with two embassies, one in Jerusalem, one in Palestine. Sorry, Katharine, but FauxMo is nowhere near smart enough to have ever thought of that explanation, he’s just following the dictates of his church, his mentors and the RWNJs in his government.

    Don’t forget, when FauxMo became PM he was immediately given a “wish list” of items that had been rejected by Turnbull and his ministry-

    Soon after Scott Morrison became Prime Minister, he was presented with a policy wish list by Liberal senator Eric Abetz and other conservatives who had helped dynamite Malcolm Turnbull.

    It included abandoning the Paris climate change commitments and moving Australia’s Israeli embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem

    If he wants to stay as PM he has to follow up these demands. Liberal PMs and leaders who do not do as they are told by the RWNJs are disposed of. Just ask Turnbull – it happened to him twice.

    So, does FauxMo back down, save an FTA and avoid a diplomatic crisis or does he do what he always does, stick to his decision no matter what, causing a breakdown in relations with two (at least) important trading partners but staying in the good books of his church mentors and the extreme right wing of his own government? It’s a dilemma all of his own making.

    • Is this Israel Jerusalem thing just for the Horizon mob or for the Assemblies of God generally?

      Horizon Church was established in 1949 as a pioneer church of the Assemblies of God in Australia under the leadership of Pastor Norm Armstrong, who was keen to see a Pentecostal congregation established in the Sutherland area.

      What did they think before Israel was created in 1949?

    • Good post, leone. He’s now in a predicament. So was Turnbull during his rule. With climate change, etc. There are major forces guiding them: either IPA/or “faith”/or both. Very poor leaders.

    • Leone,

      That should be a thread-starter! If you are short of time today, could you please just do a draft “New Post” in your name, and I will cut and paste.

    • It’s Assemblies of God plus all the other Christian churches. It’s Biblical prophesy. The ravings of the deluded man who wrote the Book of Revelation (yes, psychotropic drugs and alcohol addiction were common back in the first century AD) about an imagined apocalypse are taken as true prophesy and believed as literal truth by most traditional Christian churches, especially the fundamentalist ones.

      Except, maybe, for the Catholics, because the Pope isn’t having a bar of converting the Jews.

      Before the modern state of Israel was created it was still assumed the prophecy would unfold as predicted. The Kingdom of Israel existed in biblical times, as did Jerusalem. Why let a little hiccup like struggles between modern Israel and Palestine interfere with a prophecy? Those struggles are interpreted as proof the “end days” are now happening.

      Trump’s supporters from the loopy evangelical churches are hoping he will bring about Armageddon and hasten the return of Jesus.

  9. The Morrison government has extended emergency three-month funding contracts to 16 more financial counselling, legal aid and charity groups to keep them open over the Christmas holiday period after it cut their funding with little warning.

    The move was made without fanfare, logged quietly on the Department of Social Services website on Wednesday evening.

    It comes as the social services minister, Paul Fletcher, faces continued criticism for his department’s decision to overhaul funding arrangements for key community services groups in the lead-up to Christmas.

    In some cases, barely two months’ notice has been given to groups to prepare for dramatic cuts in the new year – a time of year when thousands of Australian families have traditionally needed more emergency assistance and financial counselling.

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