The Feast of All Fools Friday

Metro

Of course, the Brits claim to be the ones who made it an annual celebration:

English pranksters started playing practical jokes on one another on April 1st from at least 1700.

Anyone who is successfully fooled before midday is known as a ‘noodle’, ‘gob’, ‘gobby’ or ‘noddy’ while anyone doing the fooling after midday is considered a fool themselves.

and over the years there have been some extremely clever April Fools’ Day pranks – the spaghetti tree being a prime example:

Then there was the Republic of San Serriffe

Chiefa Coins

not to mention Australia’s own Great Sydney Iceberg:

Ninemsn

From across the ditch (and specially for Kaffeeklatscher) comes this interesting scientific study:

The Sheep Albedo Hypothesis

RealClimate.org detailed the work of Dr. Ewe Noh-Watt of the New Zealand Institute of Veterinary Climatology, who had discovered that global warming was caused not by a buildup of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, but rather by the decline of New Zealand’s sheep population. The reasoning was that sheep are white, and therefore large numbers of sheep increased the planet’s albedo (the amount of sunlight reflected back into space). As the sheep population declined, the ground absorbed more solar radiation, thus warming the planet: “It can be seen that the recent warming can be explained entirely by the decline in the New Zealand sheep population, without any need to bring in any mysterious so-called ‘radiative forcing’ from carbon dioxide, which doesn’t affect the sunlight (hardly) anyway — unlike Sheep Albedo.”

Noh-Watt also warmed of a potentially destabilizing feedback mechanism: “As climate gets warmer, there is less demand for wool sweaters and wooly underwear. Hence the sheep population tends to drop, leading to even more warming. In an extreme form, this can lead to a ‘runaway sheep-albedo feedback,’ which is believed to have led to the present torrid climate of Venus.”

However, skeptics disputed the Sheep Albedo Hypothesis. Steve Ramsturf, spokesman for the New Zealand Sheep Farmers Guild, was quoted as saying, “Baaah, Humbug. No matter what goes wrong with the world, they’re always trying to blame the poor New Zealand Sheep Farmer.”

Brilliant Buckets

As it is now past midday all around Australia, no Pubster runs the risk of being a noodle, gob, gobby or noddy, nor would any of us be so foolish as to try a prank.

Our Dear Leader may be in a different category.

Therefore, at RNM 1953’s excellent suggestion, let’s have a go this evening at suggesting the most ridiculous policies brainfarts waffles may emit over the next 13 weeks.

Have fun!

Specially for Gigilene . . .

Sky Dancing

428 thoughts on “The Feast of All Fools Friday

  1. Adele Ferguson on Life Insurance
    http://www.smh.com.au/business/banking-and-finance/hidden-nasties-in-life-insurance-policies-must-go-20160331-gnvqiz.html

    Lowering company tax rates won’t increase compliance
    http://www.smh.com.au/money/how-lower-company-tax-would-hurt-australian-investors-20160330-gnujot.html

    How gambling is being normalised
    http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/sports-betting-giants-turn-to-sexual-imagery-and-mateship-to-normalise-gambling-20160401-gnwnen.html

    This isn’t going to bring loved one back
    http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/david-friday-sues-flight-school-over-the-death-of-his-wife-and-son-in-germanwings-crash-20160401-gnwnql.html

    School funding, yet another layer of bureaucracy and yet even higher salaries to incentivise principals
    http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/bracks-review-schools-face-funding-shakeup-and-greater-accountability-20160402-gnwo9k.html
    The principal of a 3000+ school bought himself a Porsche as his retirement present using his incentive bonus i.e. the savings made in staff wages by using contract labour

  2. Yeah, right!

    Just as the release of the children and families shows compassion

  3. Not if they win the action

  4. Adam Gartrell on Barnaby and Windsor – we have a new man-crush

    More than a bit biased, this piece. Most of it devoted to Bananaby and what a good bloke he is, and just a few sentences on Windsor, in which Gartrell mentions his age twice and makes a few references to him being a grandfather. We are meant to think Barnaby is young, energetic and hard-working and Windsor is old, slow and cranky. (That got a couple of mentions too),

    Gartrell even drags out the tired old National Party line about a seat at the table –

    He’s got a seat at the most powerful table in the land; he sits next to the guy with the chequebook; he’s the one who can get things done

    Anyone who lives in a National electorate will have heard that one a thousand times and will know it means nothing. Our Nats MPs here – both of them, state and federal, and all their National predecessors – have always trotted that line out in election campaigns as a reason to vote National, but it’s just a seat at the kids’ table, out in the playroom, where they are ignored by the Liberal Party grown-ups inside at the feast. The cheques go to the city electorates, the country ones get the left-overs, if there are any. Two and a half years of Joyce as member for New England has seen the region lose assets, with a major flight training facility taken away and sent to a more marginal electorate in Victoria, not gain assets. Nothing Joyce promised in his election campaign has eventuated.

    Then there’s the lie about Joyce fighting ‘the biggest fight of his career’ to win New England last election. Pffffft to that. He had not begun his campaign proper when Windsor announced he would not run. And then there’s the rubbish about Joyce being an ‘outsider’ for his whole political career. You don’t get to be leader of the Nats if you are an ‘outsider’. You get there by sticking to the party line no matter what.

    Gartrell could have mentioned the vast amounts of money the forces of darkness will throw at the campaign to save Barnaby, but he did not. His bias is showing, more than usual.

    And just one little thing – I know that road Gartrell mentions, it’s Willow Tree Road, runs between Willow Tree and Merriwa. It becomes Merriwa Road somewhere in the middle. What you call it depends on where you live. There’s no ‘high mountain pass’, it’s just a road over some hills, a bit winding in the middle. The winding hilly part is sealed, so if Gartrell and Barnaby were heading from Willow Tree to Merriwa and had just come off the bitumen they would have been on the flat, not at the top of the hill. You might be able to fool the city folk with tales of dangerous driving on country roads, but you can’t fool us country bumpkins.

  5. Gone to Streaky bay, eh?…I believe that’s one of the places in SA. you go to “get your kit off” and go for a run…sending back a couple of polaroids, BK ?

  6. PvO and Paul Kelly have been interviewing Turnbull this morning on Sky. I haven’t been watching. Twitter tells me all I need to know without having to sit through tedious waffle.

    Like this –

    And this

    And best of all, PvO channeling Dr Who –

  7. The amount of Karma that is descending on Scrott is quite intoxicating for those of us with a plentiful supply of popcorn and a taste for German words beginning with Sch…
    Scrott is getting a good dose of ‘on water’ treatment as given to the Australian Public, and well deserved.
    Can’t think how Malcaman can possibly present anything as policy for the election now, he can’t stick with anything and will be shot down by Shorten et al without even resorting to the dreaded ‘zingers’.

  8. Turnbull has referred to people smugglers as ‘agile’. Doesn’t he know any other two syllable words?

  9. Missed this the other day –

    NSW decision to use Spanish steel in Sydney Metro Northwest rail project angers SA

    The use of steel from Spain in an $8.3 billion New South Wales rail project has angered the SA Government, which says the steel should be bought from Arrium’s struggling Whyalla works.

    Arrium posted a $1.5 billion loss for the half-year to December 31 and said it was considering closing the Whyalla steelworks if it could not turn its financial fortunes around.

    A closure would put more than 1,000 jobs at risk and have a detrimental impact on the entire Whyalla community.

    SA Treasurer Tom Koutsantonis has slammed the NSW Government for not supporting local industry

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-04-01/nsw-decision-to-use-spanish-steel-in-rail-project-angers-sa/7291440

  10. Still trying to find the right analogy for Insiders. Every time I watch it (this was the second time this year), I get the distinct impression that they are well aware of what’s really going on in Canberra, but that they’ve made some kind of pact not to talk about anything directly. Today:

    – They had to spend ten minutes listening to Cormann trot out all his well-worn talking points and say absolutely nothing about anything. He blamed Labor, he talked about trajectory, he quoted Baird – twice – saying the states are not in the business of raising taxes, just to say neither are the federal government. And then he just wandered around those three tactics no matter what he was asked. On trajectory: apparently Cormann is quite pleased because the projection back in 2013 was for a worsening in the position (I believe it was debt-to-GDP), since then nothing has changed, but now the projection is that things will get better. So although he’s done nothing, predicting better things in the future is evidence of success. If you can follow that. Anyway, they just let him talk, thanked him, and promptly forgot everything he said.

    – There was some studio chat about COAG and Turnbull. They went close to admitting what an insanely pointless proposal Turnbull’s was, without actually going there. I mean, really, it was a disaster, and was flagged as one before it even started. “Hey states, do you want to accept a situation that makes your positions materially worse for no real gain?” “No.” “Ok then, thanks for listening.” We had to pretend that it was part of some wider strategy for Turnbull, or laying the groundwork for future cooperation. But they did at least admit it wasn’t helpful.

    – More chat, mainly about the timing of the election, the chances of a DD, and the cross-benchers. All I recall of it now is Gerard Henderson hating on most of the cross-bench. Particularly Jacqui Lambie, who he appears to have a visceral hatred towards.

    – Then they talked a lot about Gonski. Ten minutes spent on the fiction that governments simply can’t afford to fund anything these days, so something has to happen. Lenore thought taxes need to be raised. Henderson thought services need to be cut. Nobody at all considered that maybe providing essential services such as health and education ought to be a government’s first priority.

    That was pretty much it. Lost in all their ramblings was the only question worth asking: What is a government, and what is it supposed to do for a country? None of the CPG appear to subscribe to the idea that a government ought to be accountable to its people, or even that a government might have basic obligations to discharge before it gets to concentrate on power games. As far as they’re concerned, the only job a government has is to get itself re-elected, and it can shift laws, money, lives around as much as it likes to achieve that aim.

    We badly need a national discussion based around the duties and obligations of governments. The closest we got to that today was Michaelia Cash squawking that there will be no federal ICAC.

    • If this farce of a government can’t afford to fund services why is it insisting on spending billions on jet fighters that can barely fly, can’t dog-fight, need special fuel from special white tankers, can’t fire their weapons and will be blown out of the sky by everyone else’s superior, actually working aircraft?

  11. I think that’s basically the problem. Because there has been no discussion about what good government (or acceptable politics) might consist of, nothing that happens in Canberra can be contextualised. The actions of the Abbott/Turnbull governments are never compared against some agreed ideal, so nobody knows how far they’ve strayed from that ideal.

    Every action of this government gets subjected to the “is it working?” test, but ‘working’ is defined merely as winning votes. Or, increasingly, not losing enough to endanger an election loss. Everything the Gillard government did was consigned to the ‘didn’t work’ pile, on the basis that the Abbott scare campaign worked to undermine it.

    There are two standards that should apply to any government:

    1. Is it right/moral/effective policy-wise?
    2. Is it popular enough to garner re-election?

    The CPG are only considering the second question. But the second should always be subservient to the first.

    • Surely you understand the agenda – we can only have good government when the Coalition is running the place. When Labor is in charge it’s just care-taking, keeping things ticking over until the voters come to their senses and put the real government back in power after their well-earned rest.

      The Press Gallery mob are churning out some mild criticism of Turnbull, but it is always written as advice to their adored Messiah. ‘”Turnbull needs to …….. to get those polls back on side.” They are urging him on, barracking from the sidelines, cheering for their hero, willing him to win.

      All Turnbull needs to do, it would seem, is take the advice Laura Tingle and her pals suggest and everything will be tickety-boo. The Coalition will waltz back into government and the PG can go back to telling us how wonderful everything is now their hero really is an elected PM. As if we actually elect a PM………….

    • All true. There does seem to be some division in the ranks over whether persisting with Turnbull or reverting to Abbott are the best options. Nobody at this stage is considering a possible ALP election win. Or giving the least thought as to how the country ought to be run.

  12. Aguirre

    Thanks for the great rundown of Insiders. I don’t watch it but a lot of people of twitter remark on it, and today there was a lot of stuff on what the Messiah was saying/not saying on Sky. All commentators seem to be in agreement, this Fed govt aren’t responsible for anything, everyone else it to blame etc.

    Your second comment is even more to the point. Again, msm aren’t interested. It is all to ‘intellectual’ for their bird brains.

  13. Truffles ? A headmaster interviewed in a doco on the corporate takeover of schools in the US said a lot of people think “because they got a lot of money they got the smarts”.

    Doco was a scary look at what will no doubt be pushed by the Libs here. Especially as Rupes is well into that sort of thing. Oh and the even worse Koch brothers.

  14. The NSW shale oil thing –

    The NSW minister who has made the entire state a shale oilfield is Anthony Roberts, Liberal member for Lane Cove. I can’t see his electorate being turned into an oilfield. but for those of us outside Sydney, already battling CSG companies and coal mines, it could be a disaster.

    Ask the Canadians what they think about shale oil.

    Coming soon to NSW –

    http://www.turtleisland.org/discussion/viewtopic.php?p=10801

  15. One more thing before I go out –

    Last week Turnbull gave $12 million to the Penrith Panthers for a football academy. Penrith TAFE and Penrith hospital didn’t get one cent.

    Penrith Panthers is not a struggling small local footy club. Far from it.

    The Panthers Group is an extremely wealthy organisation, they own five clubs across regional NSW , including what used to be our local RSL club, as well as their Penrith club and facilities. The money keeps rolling in, thanks to booze and gambling.

    • And the food at port panthers was very average the few times I’ve eaten there – family outings usually at westport or eastport bowling clubs. Westport esp good since recent extensions.

  16. So glad WA has only allowed pokies into the casino. Pretty solid public support for it staying that way. Youse t’othersiders providing an excellent display of just why they should be kept out 🙂

    Not a pokie in sight

    ……..in WA, a royal commission into gambling in 1974 came out with a blunt rejection that has been heeded ever since by Liberal and Labor state governments. “Poker machine playing is a mindless, repetitive and insidious form of gambling which has many undesirable features,” it reported. “It requires no thought, no skill or social contact. The odds are never about winning. Watching people playing the machines over long periods of time, the impressionistic evidence is that they are addictive to many people…We consider that, in the public interest, they should stay banned.”

    .
    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/life/weekend-australian-magazine/not-a-pokie-in-sight/story-e6frg8h6-1225967850576

  17. http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/samantha-maiden-pm-malcolm-turnbull-needs-ideas-that-last-longer-than-britneys-first-marriage/news-story/431140db5864c1c626350c3594185a38 paywalled, try googling the title and clicking through

    http://www.theage.com.au/business/consumer-affairs/private-import-rules-could-put-thousands-of-dangerous-cars-on-australian-roads-20160401-gnwmrm

    http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/finalcut/sherpa—review-and-interview-with-director-jennifer-peedom/7274884

    http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/03/160331-viking-discovery-north-america-canada-archaeology/

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-04-03/great-barrier-reef-aust-will-miss-targets-researcher-said/7286466

  18. http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/apr/03/asylum-seeker-children-still-in-detention-despite-claims-all-have-been-released

    http://www.9news.com.au/national/2016/04/03/08/30/announcement-looms-on-adani-s-qld-mine

    http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-oil-company-unaoil-iraq-idUKKCN0WZ0EX

  19. Posted by lizzie over the road. The Droog Dutton no doubt thinks himself sooooo clever with this little bit of undergrad debating type trickery.

    The government has reclassified sections of detention centres as “community detention” in order to be able to claim that all children have been released from immigration detention.

    The immigration minister, Peter Dutton, announced on Sunday there were no children left in detention, but a source within his department told the Guardian the “release” was “more bureaucratic sleight of hand than emancipation”.

    As an example, families with children in “held detention” in the family compound of Villawood detention centre were told by letter on Friday that their detention was now classified “community detention”.

    They have been “released” from detention without moving.

    http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/apr/03/asylum-seeker-children-still-in-detention-despite-claims-all-have-been-released?CMP=soc_568

  20. Now for the great outpouring of outrage and disapproval from all the journalists at such a blatant piece of shite from Dutton …………………………………………………………………. as if.

    • Turnbull’s kids musty have had a miserable childhood, if his parenting style was anything like his Supreme Ruler style.

      ‘No Alexander, I offered you some burnt toast and you refused to eat it, so there’s no way you are getting another piece of toast. You had your chance, you greedy, wicked boy.’

      ‘You had your chance, Daisy. You could have had a lovely second-hand doll from Vinnies, so what if it didn’t have a head, or legs. But you refused to take it. Now you can just go without, you selfish, wicked girl.’

  21. TLBD

    Oh to have the Truffle soufflé be made to explain how paying a tax $ to a state rather than the same tax $ going to the Feds makes any firkin difference let alone be a ‘solution’ and ‘improvement’. What a bankster .

  22. They keep rejecting him, but somehow he always managed to end up the candidate.

    Dennis Jensen loses preselection for Tangney

    Controversial federal Liberal MP Dennis Jensen has lost preselection for his safe seat of Tangney after his local branch members voted resoundingly to install former Liberal state director Ben Morton.

    The result is strongly expected to be endorsed by the Liberal Party state council next weekend.

    Dr Jensen stormed out of today’s meeting and sped off in his car after the result was announced.

    It is usual practice for all of the candidates to remain behind to make a brief statement at the end of a preselection meeting.

    This is the third time Liberal members in Tangney have rejected Dr Jensen

    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/dennis-jensen-loses-preselection-for-tangney/news-story/f5893a958228dadcec43407f907d6f84

  23. Adani’s mine leases have been approved. Now all they need is finance. Cue Peter Costello and a briefcase full of Future Fund cash. Because no-one else in the world wants to fund it.

    Adani’s Galilee Basin project mine leases approved
    http://www.smh.com.au/business/mining-and-resources/adanis-galilee-basin-project-mine-leases-approved-20160403-gnx016.html#ixzz44jG4cM43

    I don’t think it will go any further. It’s not viable now, hasn’t been for a while. A bit more delay because of protests and legal challenges should kill the whole plan.

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