Abbott Reshuffles Ministry, Rearranges Deck-chairs and Declares All Barnacles Gone and Ship Unsinkable!

Today’s Guest Poster is Rossleigh, from The Australian Independent Media Network, with an admirably pithy post on this afternoon’s reshuffle. Many thanks, Rossleigh, and yes, I’d love another cocktail.

RMS Titanic departing Southampton on 10 April 1912

(Image Credit: Wikipedia)

A couple of weeks ago, Mr Abbott suggested that some of his colleagues had a problem with Peta Credlin because of her gender, and that they had trouble relating to a woman who was so powerful. He made it clear that her sex was irrelevant to him and that he’d have the same relationship with her whatever sex she was. Some people, however, argued charges of sexism were pretty hypocritical coming from a man who’d only appointed one woman to Cabinet.

In a very exciting development, Abbott has doubled the number of women in Cabinet. One senior Liberal source said this was a welcome development as there’d now be someone else to clear the cups when Julie Bishop is overseas, before hastily adding that this was a joke and that they actually had tea-ladies to do that sort of thing.

Still, this Ministerial reshuffle achieves most of Mr Abbott’s aims.

The promotion of a woman to the Health Portfolio – albeit one who doesn’t know how to spell “Susan” properly – should stop those screeching feminist harpies who are complaining that the Minister for Women has only announced initiatives for women with children, while the promotion of Josh Frydenberg rewards young talent.

But the moving of Scott Morrison to Social Services has a twofold effect. If he’s effective, it should enable the government to slash spending in this area, while also reducing Morrison’s popularity and thereby putting a dent in any leadership aspirations he may have. It’s one thing to be popular while holding foreign children offshore, but it’ll be a different matter when it’s Australian children ringing Senator Muir to ask him to please support government legislation so that they can be returned to their parents!

In a move that surprised most keen observers, David Johnston has lost the Defence portfolio. Johnston’s lacklustre performance and canoe comments meant that most thought he was absolutely secure, because once Mr Abbott starts demoting underperforming Ministers, a dangerous precedent may have been set. If Johnston wasn’t safe, then one must also consider that Hockey, Pyne, and Joyce can’t simply presume that hiding in one’s office for three months after saying something foolish is enough to keep one in the Ministry.

Peter Dutton – the mostly invisible Minister for Health – moves to Immigration, where he can merely cite “operational matters” as a reason for having nothing to say.

Kevin Andrews – a keen euthanasia opponent – has been given a portfolio consistent with his views on the sanctity of human life: Defence.

All in all, this looks like a very successful reshuffle and all those screaming about icebergs should just sit back in their deckchairs, order another cocktail and enjoy the ride.

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396 thoughts on “Abbott Reshuffles Ministry, Rearranges Deck-chairs and Declares All Barnacles Gone and Ship Unsinkable!

  1. After Abbott made a dick of himself with his ‘the terrorists are coming to ruin your Christmas’ fear-mongering yesterday something had to be done to make him look a bit less of a dick. If that could ever be possible. So of course today we have a terrorist plot ‘discovered’. Naturally no details can be released – because there aren’t any. It’s all bullshit, as BB says.

  2. It’s getting easier to be a conspiracy theorist in this country, probably because the conspiracies are getting bigger & bolder. And more obvious.

  3. Rudderless NSW Labor faces wipeout after John Robertson resignation

    So, According to the Australian, gaining fourteen seats is a wipe out now?

  4. I wonder if the party bosses had access to that newspoll yesterday? If they did, I think that would have played a bigger part in his loss of support than that Monis letter.

    Either way, I wish they had the balls to come out in public and say that they no longer supported Robertson than keep up with all this backroom deals crap and fuel the “faceless men” fires.

    Another possibility is that they were worried that Robertson wouldn’t have resigned after he lost the election, which might have been a possibility if the party gained more than ten seats from the coalition.

  5. This will be the first time for many years that I won’t be having a ‘Coolum Christmas’. So I will have to have a Pub one instead.

  6. Bloody hell, the abbott and Margie obviously are wishing us all a miserable, glum, no frills, Xmas and New Year….not a flicker of a smile or goodwill between them. Hope they choke on their Xmas dinner or at least get a great big painful bellyache.

  7. Nice assessment from Tim Dunlop here
    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-12-24/dunlop-the-more-things-shuffle-more-they-stay-the-same/5985210
    He raises some interesting points beyond the Abbott Train Wreck. Regardless of party, we do need to challenge the corporate hijacking of our democracy. The assumptions of the Reagan Thatcher era such as ‘the problem of government is government’, so long discredited in reality as corporate thieves rip away our assets, are still followed in one form of spin or another.

    We need more leaders like Elizabeth Warren who are prepared to stand up for the essential role of government in providing fairness and equality of opportunity. The market cannot deliver that without overbearing restrictions, which defeat any benefit of deregulating anyway. Better to work from the other angle of making the public services more accountable.

    On that thought, i wish all Pubsters a very Merry Christmas.

  8. Gorgeous Dunny,

    We need more leaders like Elizabeth Warren who are prepared to stand up for the essential role of government in providing fairness and equality of opportunity.

    We had one.

    Julia Gillard.

  9. To all the lurkers here.

    Have a great Christmas and Happy New Year. Maybe Santa will bring you all some courage to add a few comments, join in the fun, or just have a rant. It is very daunting, took me a long long time to start commenting on another blog, then I just barged in here, fronted up to the bar, and starting spouting, and I haven’t stopped since. It is good fun.

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