First Mademoiselle Mesothelomia got vewy vewy cwoss with The International Embarrassment about being sent to Lima with Andrew Robb as chaperon to make sure she didn’t make any wrong mistakes about climate change and GLARED at him with her trademark death stare:
before singing him
Sometime during the week (Monday, was it?), The International Embarrassment said it had been a “ragged fortnight”, and hit
Oh, what the heck, Tony Burke puts it so much better than I can:
Last week Tony Abbott wanted to scrape a few barnacles off the ship of state. This week he wanted to try and turn the whole ship around – things didn’t quite go as planned.
1. What a year for the Government. Broken promises as far as the eye can see, no Assistant Treasurer for nine months, a Defence Minister on the chopping block and no clear answer to who will be Prime Minister at the next election. None of these things are good, but Bill’s speech summing up the year is definitely the best moment of the week.
2. The week began with Christopher Pyne and the Government telling anyone who would listen, the big victory in the final sitting week of Parliament for the year would be passing its unfair Higher Education changes and $100,000 degrees. Well, they tried and they failed.
3. Joe Hockey’s mini-Budget comes out soon. On Thursday the Treasurer, for now, tried to claw back some of his lost economic credibility in a speech to Parliament. Chris Bowen fired back saying Labor will never accept the false premise that Governments can choose either growth or fairness.
4. On Thursday, just as we were all walking in to Question Time, Terri Butler stood up and tore the government apart for its cuts to education. It’s only 90 seconds to watch, but will be felt by the Government for a very long time.
5. After the Senate Crossbench complained that Christopher Pyne wouldn’t stop texting and begging for their vote on Higher Education, Labor decided to give people the chance to text back. We set up a text only line where all messages get passed on to Christopher Pyne. Well, nearly all, we have had to censor a couple. More than 6,000 people have already texted him on 0477 333 555.
1. Last week was the worst week in the Abbott Government’s history, so far. On Monday Tony Abbott tried to hit refresh by holding a 45-minute press conference. So what’s he changing? Nothing.
2. In the same press conference on Monday, in his first answers talking about the change of Government in Victoria, Tony Abbott made an appeal to Labor Premier Daniel Andrews – what was the appeal? For Premier Andrews to break an election promise.
3. We’d be a better country if books like this weren’t required. The “Little Book of Lies” goes through, policy by policy, Tony Abbott’s year of broken promises. There are a lot.
4. The cuts to Australia’s foreign aid budget continue, with Julie Bishop claiming ‘if the Government keeps cutting, it won’t be the Government’s fault’. It seems like Ministers are starting to wish they were no longer in charge. Click here to add your name to the campaign against foreign aid cuts.
5. The Liberal MP for Gilmore discovered it’s sometimes best to say nothing this week, when Tanya Plibersek referred to 97% of scientists agreeing on the connection between human activity and climate change, Ann Sudmalis interjected “but that’s only climate scientists.” Well she’s right. It’s only 97% of the people who are experts in the field.
This afternoon, Sam de Brito wrote:
Comedian Chris Rock said recently of former US President George Bush: “He was the first president who only served the people who voted for him. He literally operated like a cable network. You know what I mean?
“He’s the first cable-television president, and the thing liberals don’t like about Obama is that he’s a network guy … He’s trying to get everybody.”
Abbott is our first Foxtel Prime Minister. If you’re not a subscriber, too bad.
Can anyone taste blood in the water yet?
Meanwhile, Dan Andrews’ new Victorian ministry was sworn, with a record number of nine women on the front bench:
Maybe it’s time for The International Embarrassment to think on Beyonce’s lyrics:
Enough of this seriousness.
Join in The Pub’s usual amazing Friday evening festivities, help yourselves to drinks until I get there, order your raffle tickets from Maestro CK Watt, put your coins into the jukebox.
And have a good time or