Who was here when this Poll Result was announced?
Petro the phantom poll poster has released the details of the latest poll conducted by the most respected polling company around “Polldaddy:”
The poll was conducted over the Christmas day/Boxing day holiday, which as most respectable polling companies agree is the optima time to conduct a political poll as people are free from their working life and can really concentrate on the important issues of the day.
12,000 people were surveyed across a broad spectrum of the Australian public but with 2 common denominatiers that they were all extremely attractive and also extremely intelligent. Go figure . The margin of error is approximatly .0000013% but some Possums may disagree with that and say .0000014%.
According to Anthony Greys calculator this would reduce the opposition to around 5 seats and some pretty unhappy ex mps.
The now very powerful Prime Minister Julia Gillard when asked about the poll stated that polls come and polls go but Alan Jones is still a low life piece of hyena waste.
The leader of the opposition Tony Abbott was seen running around in circles trying to bite his own bum. When asked to comment he stated he is very busy doing important things for Australia and polls smolls I need a new set of togs.
The deputy leader of the opposition Ms. J Bishop ( who by the way is barren never having kids. something is wrong with hey heff. opps sorry wrong party) has called for an inquiry to be held because apparently the main pollster once received a banana paddle-pop 20 yrs ago from his then girlfriend who worked at the local snack bar and did not pay for it.
The shadow treasure Joe Hockey was spotted at Abduls a well know and delicious eatery in surrey hills Sintown,trying to eat the menu.
When asked for a comment he stated while trying to decide between the vegie. platter and some falafels that Hogwaorths a very reputable accounting firm assured him that as 83+9 only =92 the missing 8% will ensure victory at the next election.
Dennis Shamaham head political wanker at Australia’s biggest loss making paper the “stralyin” has stated that although things are looking grim for the coalition the sausages are almost cooked and the onions are ready ,but he has lost the BBQ. sauce.
Over at the iceage the champion of the Canberra press galley Michelle Gratenn has stated in no uncertain terms that this may or not be good for the ALP. and indeed may or not be bad for the Coalition. You don’t get much more straight forward political insight than that.
We at the tragis who commissioned this poll so we own it and understand better than any of you people can tell you in good faith,hands on heart that YES it is a good poll for the ALP.